Saturday 31st October 09

I had been out last night for a work mates birthday which sucked ass!
I wasn't drinking and should have gone home early instead of trying to get the party started!
I put a lot of effort in trying to raise everyone and getting nowhere which isn't easy when you are sober and everyone else is drunk!! They should have been the ones lifting me, lol!

Anyway because of last nights massive wank of a night, i set myself a task, only a nice simple one!
Last night the conversation kept starting to flag and there were a lot of quiet times and awkwardness (this wasn't down to me, it seemed everyone had started to run out of things to say) because of this i decided my goal was to purely working on my conversation skills and increasing rapport with everyone.

Tonight's plan!!! A mate's leaving do! He wants to have a meal in Brighton then go to the Funky Fish, not my first, second or third choice club but it's a good laugh in there!

Anyway..I get woken up at 16:30 by my phone!
Mate: What are you up to?
Me: Just sleeping!
Mate: You need to be round here a 5:30 latest, we need to get the train to brighton coz we're supposed to be going to that meal.

SHIT!!! it's half an hour drive to his and i need to shower and iron and hurry the f up!
I get to his house, have a beer and then get a lift to the train station.
Jump on the train, have another beer and then jump off at preston park to avoid having to get a ticket! Jump on a bus and get to the Restaurant dead on time!
There is about 14 of us and only know 3! I purposefully sit well away from the 3 i know! I have learnt now that to get myself in a good state for the night, i need to start talking to new people ASAP and along with my challenge this is perfect!
I start chatting away to the 4 round me! I own the conversation, pulling and pushing it in all different directions! I've always been one of those people who when they are on a table full of people always end up sitting there wishing i was at the popular part! Not this time!! It's time's like these that i really notice the improvement in myself.
After a few hours we move on to some pub.
We stay in there chatting and having a laugh for too long, but chat to some really cool people and the fancy dress costumes they were wearing were awsome! One guy was dressed as the devil and after a little while had a couple of us starting to think that he was actually real, lol!
We decide to move on to the club and just as we get out, a fight breaks out outside! Not involving us but there is one guy lying on the floor being pummelled by a couple of people and the bouncer is doing nothing!
One of my mates jumps in ripping of one of the guys and throwing a few punches before being thrown on the floor and jumped on, before i know whats going on, i've got 2 pressed up against the wall and another mate has jumped in blocking off another 4! Fight over and sorted!
We move on and get to the club!
I really wanna dance but the physio has told me that if i do, i risk tearing my knee ligaments and have hurt them in the earlier incident so opt for drinking instead!
I start chatting to the barmaid then to everyone around!
I'm now in state and with the added booze, i feel untouchable.
I go for a fag and a mate opens 3 girls and leaves me to it! I chat to them for about 45 minutes then leave and go for a piss (it was a really solid set but was just looking to chat)! Chatted to the barmaid again for a bit and get a kiss on the cheek and a free shot!
Sit down with some mates and open a couple of girls next to me who shit test me! I pass easily but get no where as they are off to a different club!
I mate who eavesdropped then turns round to me and says "you're so smooth"
I hate that! What is so smooth about just chatting to a couple of girls?
If I had escalated and got some kind of close then maybe but just to chat is definitely not smooth!
Managed to get a couple of cheap shots from some shot man when i challenged him to create his perfect shot!

It's then time to go home!
We walk past some really good looking but young looking girls outside a club and a mate challenges me to hit on them! After last weeks inability to do so i accept and dive straight in but the more i chat to them the younger they look! I should have done an age test on them but i was a bit worried it might turn out that they are far too young so i exit and we go home!

Reflections

I passed my challenge! This was a great challenge as it has helped so much with my ability to open and just chat.
I am sticking away from any openers and just start off with whatever is in my head. I like this idea best as it is my true self coming out and i think that is what helps you get in state quicker and better.
I still need to get out of my logic mode and learn to vibe a bit more, but that all comes with more experience so i'm sure i'll get there very soon.

I now don't feel nervous! Where's that gone? I'm not getting AA! I have a weird experience of nervous habit! I go to do something where i know i used to feel nervous but i don't...I can see myself telling myself that, that is where you used to be nervous but there are no feelings of it anymore! It's such a weird feeling! It means i can just wipe it out of my mind!

My next challenge is to keep doing the conversations with everyone but now i am going to try a bit of directness as well otherwise i think i will just get stuck in conversation mode and never actually be able to escalate!


Thanks

James