Just got home from another night with the Manchester clan, in Manc. A quick review of the night as I saw it...

I made progress tonight I felt. Not bags, but little bits and pieces are coming together, which is nice. The first set was a number close in Wetherspoons. Roody opened a seated two set, and I went in to wing, sitting next to a frankly gorgeous dark haired girl. It turned out these girls were from Grimsby, and were in Manchester for the night for the X Factor auditions tomorrow. This gave us a pretty obvious topic of conversation, and it was all pretty easy.

After being in set for a while, Adam came over to say the group was leaving soon. So, we wished the girls all the best and left. Back with the group, Dave asked if I had closed. I said I hadn't, but honestly couldn't say why. He suggested going back in for a number close. So, as we left, I went back over to the girls and asked them where they were going next, intending to use this as the basis of 'well give me your number, lets catch up later'. But they said they were heading back to the hotel for an early night ahead of being grilled by Cowell and co. Not to be deterred, I sat down next to the girl I'd been speaking too and handed her my phone. 'Ok, well put your number in there. I'm totally excited by the showbiz of everything with you guys, I need to know how it goes.' She punched her digits into my phone, helpfully telling me her name which I'd forgotten by this point.

I should have number closed before I left the set, and this is something to bear in mind for the future. Where there's a chance of a close, go for it. Whats the worst that can happen? Either way, I was pretty chuffed to get a number close so early in the night.

We headed onto Black Dog (I'm told thats what its called). We went straight for the dancefloor, and started to make shapes. As we did, and as Dave pointed out, a few sets seemed to gravitate towards us. I guess this was 'warm part of the pool' theory in action.

I was keeping an eye open for sets to open, with last week's FR in mind where I said I needed to take action and open more sets. To the side of the dance floor I had spied a two set, one of whom was giving me eyes (how could she not - I dance like Travolta on e's!). But... I hesitated. I turned away, and kept dancing. I looked back, and she was still giving me eyes. But again, I turned away. Fuck!

I had to stand myself up for a second and think it through. I told myself very consciously to just fucking go and open them. Fortunately after another few seconds, my feet began to move towards the set, and I opened them asking 'what are you guys talking about? It looks pretty interesting, I can't not know what you're saying'. They replied saying it was about a guy they used to work with, and the set rolled from there (that's the beauty of this opener - it gives endless possibilities for going straight into conversation). Jaz came over and winged one of the girls away, and I began to work with the other one. We talked for a while, and I began to go kino. However, this bit could have been done better. I was shy and hesitant with my kino, restricting it to light touches on the arm. When I tried to escalate, the girl noticed and visibly backed off a little.

This all fits in with my idea of setting boundaries. Early on in the interaction, the boundaries I'd set were hesitant and nervous with regards to kino. When I broke that boundary, it stuck out like a sore thumb, and she picked up on it.

Lesson: With kino, just get stuck in. From very early on, almost from the start, make it perfectly normal to have your hand on her back, and make sure she knows its there. Otherwise, when you escalate, its blindingly obvious what you're doing which triggers her defence mechanisms. Not good.

I didn't close with this girl, and we left shortly afterwards. We headed on to The Venue. Once inside, my focus became not sets and girls, but rather just becoming comfortable and having a good time, dancing openly and as if I didn't give a shit girls were watching. This bore results. I didn't open any further sets, but two girls opened me! Neither of these interactions led anywhere. The first was a girl who stopped and danced with me, before telling me to follow her and meet her friends. When we did, I made sure I introduced myself to everyone in her group before returning my focus to her. One of the guys said to me 'Good luck with her...' or something. And I quickly got what he meant - she danced flirtily, but resisted any escalation. A bit of a cock tease, to say the least.

The second girl who opened me, I guess, didn't really open me as such. She came over and took me off to her friend, and introduced us. Her friend seemed shy, however, and seemed pissed off with her mate for doing it. Fine by me, I left them to it.

But it was good to just be there on our own terms, having our own fun and generally keeping our part of the pool warm. I found this actually drew girls towards us. Much better doing that than standing around eyeing up girls.

I still need to get used to dance floor approaches, and I'd appreciate any tips guys have on this. I was eyeing up a girl who was part of a 3 set for quite some time, but at no point did I go over. I'm not sure what to do on a dancefloor when it comes to picking up girls. You can't really talk to them without seriously bringing the energy down (its tremendously difficult to dance and talk), and its further difficult to engage the whole group. An obvious answer is to be direct: go in, directly for the one you want, grab her hand, and start dancing with her. This is something I need to learn to do, as it will be a hell of a useful tool to have in my tool box.

So that was tonight. I still want to approach more, but I'm pleased with the sets I was part of, the set I opened (uncanned, might I add), the successful number close and having the balls to re-enter the set and get her number, and also just generally learning to have fun as a priority, and no longer going out with girls as the sole reason for going out.

So some careful progress made, and I can't argue with that!