Friday 2nd October 09

Completely forgot that is was another mates birthday today until I got a text at 4 from a mate asking if I was up for going to Brighton for it.
I had hurt my shoulder doing too much at Kung Fu all week so decided to blow out Jujitsu and then decided to blow out the leaving do i was supposed to be going on.
Got to a mates in Crawley at 9 only to find he was nowhere near getting ready so whilst we waited for his only top to be tumble dried, we played Fifa and drank a few warm up beers.
We got a lift to the train station and whilst in the car, I managed to spill a massive amount of fosters all over my crutch leaving a blatant looking piss stain, fuck!
Fortunately it had pretty much dried off by the time we got into Brighton and finished the ridiculously large vodka drink that we had brought for the journey.
We phone the birthday boy to find out where he is, They (a big mixed group) are in Yates' so we join them and spend about 10 minutes in there before they decide they want to leave to go to Oceana. (thats twice in 3 weeks I've been to the more commercial part of Brighton and it's starting to annoy me. I don't know what the obsession with girls and those kind of clubs are! Brighton has a much better night-life outside the main strip from the train station!)

Me and a mate get to Oceana later as had to finish our drinks and open a set with some girls in the queue whilst we are waiting to get in. This doesn't really go anywhere as when we get in we are more concerned with getting a drink and finding the rest of everyone.
Open the bar maid and chat a while as the bar wasn't very busy. I saw how bad it got at one point last time i was in there so did this so i could get served quicker which works in my favour later on. On reflection i should have carried on more with this as she was about an 8 or 9 but I was being pulled away by my mate who was desperate to find everyone.
Went outside for a fag and saw the girls from the queue. They looked deep in conversation and i wanted to interject but then started to get deep inside my head.
After a minute of arguing with myself, i think fuck it and interrupt them which was a bad idea in the end. I crashed and burned as they were talking about how homesick they were and couldn't lift them.
After that i tried a few more approaches and didn't really get anywhere.
Then got a kebab and taxi home.

Saturday 3rd October 09

Saw the ex today and I finally plucked up the courage to tell her it's all over. She then says as that is the case then she is going out but is going to stay at our flat with me as she wants one last night with me.

19:00 hits and i've got to get out of the flat. I go down to a pub and wait for a few mates who are turning up in an hour. I watch a bit of footy and look a bit lonerish until they turn up as there is no-one in there worth talking to. I text a few people to see if they fancy coming out and then get a text from the Previous Day 2 girl (now named pd2g) saying that she is about and she's dressed up sexily and I should come see her.

we have a few pints in the pub then head to another bar thats having a Coyote Ugly night with some poledancers. The place is rammed and finally get to the bar and get some drinks. Unfortunately my ex is in there and she comes over and says hello. We move on to a better viewing area and then the ex and her mates come over and start chatting with us!
We finish our drinks asap and head to the bar that PD2G is at. That is packed and we can't get in so go to the bar round the corner get some drinks and sit upstairs.
i text the PD2G and tell her where we are and they meet us 15 mins later, all hammered. after a minute of talking to the girl she pretty much rapes my mouth with hers then forces all of us to go to the only club in Horsham (if you can call it that, everyone hates it but everyone still goes!) along with the promise of "if i go then i'm guaranteed sex later".
We get to the club, i open a few sets in the queue then at the bar. Then chat to the bar man and get a free drink. I then see all of my ex's mates in there so have a chat with them and find out my ex has gone back to the flat so i decide i need to avoid the PD2G until my ex's mates have gone home (they are all light weights and never last longer then 30 mins in the club).
They go home early as predicted so do a bit of grinding and then get isolated. PD2G is really tired, drunk and her legs are hurting and wants to go home and has now starting to get really bratty (big turn off and something i'm going to have to quash if this starts to go any further). I don't want to go and can't go with her so find her mates and get them to take her home.
She texts me saying that she's waiting for me outside which i ignore for a while and then text back later.
I open a couple more sets outside whilst having a fag then leave once the place closes and go get a kebab and then home again.


Reflections

1. I have never opened so much in my life. I am not worried about crashing and burning and am not going to dwell on this as my only goal of the weekend was to actually open.
I have got to stop the problem of going inside my head but that will come with time and the more i open the better i'll get and the less i'll be going inside my head.
I am really, really happy with this tho as a month ago i wasn't even plucking up the courage to say hello to anyone so am going to just take this weekend as complete positives.

2. Splitting with the ex has now lifted a massive weight off of my shoulders and i feel a lot better about my future now.

3. I hate bratty girls

4. I seem to have a problem now being talked over or not being able to put in my view of the conversation. This is only with some people. Once the other person starts to speak i end up just nodding and yepping along and i cannot interject with my point of view or story as the person talking either ignores/talks over whatever i try to say and carries on or changes the subject to something else. It's pissing me off! Can anyone help apart from the obvious of just talking louder at the same time i'm not sure where to start!

Thanks

James