Well...

Been a while?

So I haven't wrote a FR in quite some time. This year has been crazy busy in terms of work and social aspects - its been non-stop. One of the main reasons to why I haven't wrote up anything is that, well, put it this way: the craziest shit seems to happen to me all the time. My adventures in Pick Up end up with me in some really fucking weird situation with me phoning one of my wing men at 5 in the morning with a "Code Blue" alert. I pretty much leave it as a tale to tell my boy the next day, after that I dont dare right up a FR because, shit, I guess you would probably think I was making them up and I'm afraid I might come across as a total dick.

But you know, maybe I am a dick?

Time to be more honest, love me or hate me, I'm gonna start sharing my life more.

Anyway, Jynx wanted me to write this one up so here we go.....

Twas a long blurry night. I was drunk, very drunk. Not in a incoherent manner, more like a drunk uncle at a wedding party. The details are scarce, but I was in a club (I know that) secondly I spied a glorious two set (that is also true) thirdly and most importantly, I knew IT WAS ON!

Its crazy, but no matter how fucked I get my "radar" stays in perfect working order (not my gaydar thats something different). I guess its what the NLP buffs call unconsciously competent. I can be slumped against a wall half unconscious yet when I see group of lady folk, I can just zone in. My calibration to the outside world may have deteriorated but in terms of being a charming, charismatic mother fucker, it dosent seem to leave me.

Check it. So I knew it was a two set because there were two woman there; I counted them, one, two. Yes my skills were sharp that night. I swooped in. I'm not going to go into the whole "script" because quite frankly I cant remember and I dont think it matters *note for future FR's*

What is important is the way the interaction was executed. If you guys have read my guide to working a two set without a wing you will know how I roll. In brief: I approach my target with some direct opener, something along the lines of "Oi, whats going on with your face then?" You know something classy like James Bond would say.

After that I build attraction by flexing my bulging biceps and showing her my Pokemon trading cards. Once attraction is built (30 seconds), I then cut all communication with the target and turn to the obstacle. NOW THIS IS IMPORTANT: All the interaction I make to the target are made through the obstacle. I INSTANTLY frame my interaction with her like she is my wingman. I TURN THE OBSTACLE INTO MY WINGMAN. I say things like "She is hot isnt she? How do you think I should get her number?" Its important to frame it like this as you dont want the obstacle falling for you. It helps (and I didnt tell you this) to camp it up a little bit. Think Gok Wan meets David Ginola .

TL;DR - Make the obstacle your wing. She will present the target to you.

Back to the action. So it like ten minutes in and I am fooking killing it. Essentially the target is now sat on my knee kissing my neck while I am chatting to her friend to the left of me. That my friends is where you want to be. It was cream.

FF>>

The obstacle has is talking ME into coming back to her apartment to sleep with her friend. Wowzer! So I hop into a taxi with these two young ladies. Its at this point I am thinking only one thing, threesome! The taxi driver gives me a knowing eye (their always doing that). We arrive at this apartment building, I wasent sure where

*MISTAKE NO 1 (always find out where your going exactly, you will see why later)*

We jump into this lift at the apartment and this dude gets in with us who lives on the top floor. He makes some pathetic attempt to pick up one of my girls but I merely shrug him off like the bottom feeder he is. This is where the story gets weird, so pay attention.

The apartment is your typical modern city center affair. Fake wood flooring, IKEA furniture and spot lights lighting up a glass top table. Whilst I am admiring my surrounding, in the corner of my eye my main target is taking her cloths off? It takes me like half a minute to fully take in this, at which point the friend/wingman says "Ok so I'm going to bed now, if one of you wants to join me later just hop in" She walks out the room, but that last part of her sentence is ringing in my ears "what a queer thing to say" I think.

So down to business. This girl has stripped down to her delicates, it only then I realize how amazing she is. Golden hair, golden skin, amazing body.... wow. She then, without getting too crude, pulls me to the coach and *ahem* gives me some special oral attention? It was wicked, she then hits me with a bomb, "I cant do anything else, I am on my period, you can sleep in there you like". Fair enough, she then almost instantly falls asleep. I am left bewildered.

I think its best if I just go to sleep so set up camp on the hard, extremely hard floor. Of course, you know as well as I do thats just not happening. I then come to a decision, it time to pull The Phantom. I gather my cloths, quietly get dressed, lean down and kiss her gently then begin my departure. As I leave the sitting room towards the apartment door, I notice the friends bedroom door is ajar.

*MISTAKE NO 2*

I enter.

I have no idea why? From here I am on auto-pilot, which is a scary thought really. I gently tap on the door frame. The friend looks up, I say "Im just going to go now, thanks for letting me come around" she retorts with "dont be silly, get in here with me". So I did. Now I think I should note, that at this point I made a deal with my brain that I wasent going to make the move unless she did. At that point she puts her hand on my crotch. From there it all goes off. Its freaky, you know like a R Kelly song.

FF>>

Ten minutes into our session, then it happens. Out of nowhere "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE THEN?!?!" I look around, the target is stood at the door. Her friend is bent over, I am butt naked. "WELL YOU DIDNT SEEM TO WANT HIM!". The atmosphere gets heated very quickly, the original target at the door shouts "I CANT BELIEVE YOUR DOING THIS AGAIN!?!?" I am still butt naked. The girls then proceed to have a full on fight, I say something along the lines of "hey..... errr.. dont fight girls... errr" I back up against the wall, weirdly these two just carry on arguing like I'm not even there. I try to tell them to calm down, but they just dont hear me (did I mention I was butt naked?).
So what do I do? Well what any other modern gentleman would do. I slowly picked up my cloths and awkwardly shuffled out of there naked. I got changed in the lift. Of course I didnt know where the fuck I was so it was a case of just walking in one direction untill I found somewhere I recognized (I guess that what Ray Mears would do), on my journey I realized I left behind, a sock, my pants and my vest. Took me three hours to get home.

FF>>

Two weeks later I am in the Northern with Legend and Red. A girl taps me on the shoulder, its the friend of my target. "My friend fucking hates you". I dont know what to say. I just stand there stunned. She then breaks into a smile and punches my shoulder - "Im only joking, we think your ace!"

Jaz first of all - fucking awesome!!

Gosh, ive experienced this before but not intentionally, interesting approach to a 2 set with out a wing man, no let me rephrase that - fucking awesome approach. Gonna try this one.

Dude, one word - nice.

Jaz this is one of the funniest things I've read on the forum so far. It's like something Tucker Max would write, and I can pay you no higher compliment than that! Not only that, but sublime pick-up skills, a cheeky BJ from an immensely hot girl, and a story to tell the grandkids. This is living life!

You, sir, have my admiration.

Hahahahaha - love it, awesome!! YES I was there two weeks later and she was all over you, now I know why...!! Although didnt think she was your type, hence, the "wingman" tag !!

one word... TEXTBOOK

one of the best stories ive heard on here!

"Well what any other modern gentleman would do. I slowly picked up my cloths and awkwardly shuffled out"


absolute ledge!!

Picard!

Fucking legend

Quality... Was laughing out loud in the office with that one...

one word. EPIC.

was every bit as funny as when i heard you say this in real life.

yeah, fucking ooozesome! now you guys just imagine Jaz fucking deciding to own them and the place and turn the whlole thing into a threesome?? now, that nobody would believe!

fuck you ! wanna pull

7aco

Hilarious story! I especially like the turn obstacle in to wing approach, shame you didn't get the 3 sum but good stuff.