Ok, so I hit the town last night with DeanoC. After a very frustrating night out on Friday, surrounded by my non-PUA mates and making all sorts of excuses not to open anyone, I was determined to kick on last night and make amends.

It was also my first ever night out sarging with a wing, so I knew we'd be ok once we got going. I also made sure I wasn't putting too much expectation on myself. I thought of last night as my debut in the field, so I was stretching my legs, and just seeing how I got on. I thought to myself how I remember being at Anfield many years ago and watching a teenage lad called Steven Gerrard get subbed on for his first Liverpool game. And walking away after the game grumbling to my Dad about how 'that Gerrard looked shit, he was terrified of the ball'. Everyone has to start somewhere before they achieve greatness...

A quick run through of last night then, before some brief thoughts and action points. We went to Korova first and had a drink. Dean opened a set on the table next to us, asking for opinions on tattoos. The girls seemed to hook in, but then their boyfriends came and sat on the table behind them. We made a swift exit.

It was now my turn to open. I spotted two girls at the bar. Again, this bit represents huge progress from me from a month ago - I didn't have a hint of AA, and swooped straight in with a canned opinion opener ('Is it still cheating when your girlfriend goes out and kisses other girls'). However the interaction was low energy, and I didn't know how to transition into other stuff. After a minute we ejected again, and left the bar, re-evaluating along the way.

One thing that occurred to me was that opinion openers such as this are hopelessly unsuited to night game. I thought I might get some more joy if the opener was more fun - after all, girls were out to have fun, they weren't out to have in depth conversations helping me solve an imaginary problem for my imaginary friend!

Dean and I headed for Heebie Jeebies. We circled around the place, looking for a set to open. But this is where we went into a bit of a lull. For whatever reason, we just couldn't open! We came up with all sorts of excuses, saying they weren't my type or whatever. But looking back, I think these were just poor excuses for not taking action.

We went to the side of the bar, and took stock. This wasn't good enough. Fuck it, we said, we're not going to be the people who can't even open! So we headed back across the courtyard area of the bar, resolved to open the next set we saw, no matter what.

I spied a two set - HB6 and HB5 - standing looking sort of bored. I strode up to them, energetic and confident. As I did, I remembered an opener which was more fun than other stuff I'd been trying, and which had the backing of some highly experienced people:

"Hey guys. Quick question: Custard. Do you prefer it hot or cold?"

They both said cold, I said that's disgusting, we rolled on into a conversation, and chatted away to them both for about 15 minutes. I was working the HB6, going kino and negging and so on. And it went well.

From there, opening sets suddenly became really easy to do, and we opened several more. I used the Custard opener to death, but once the set was open, I didn't use any more routine or anything. Just me, talking to girls.

We left Heebies and headed for the Raz - a shitty student club, but packed with women. At this point, my game deflated a little. I was absolutely fucked, having been out until 5am the night before and up at 8am for work, and becoming increasingly drunk. We opened a few more sets and chatted away. It was fun.

All in all, a really good night! Points to take from it:

1. That period in Heebies when we couldn't open anyone wasn't acceptable. I will say this openly and frankly, I was intimidated by beautiful women. I didn't feel as if I had permission to open them. The only way to conquer this is to push into these sets in the future, and to begin to find it normal to speak to good looking girls. They won't bite!

2. Openers: I found the custard opener worked really well, and might work this into an opening routine of short questions which can lead into cold reads (Custard, hot or cold? Orange juice, bits or no bits? Coffee, black or white? etc). But once sets were open, I wasn't using any routine, and was just being myself talking to the girls. I found that worked fine.

3. Closing: I didn't attempt to close anyone, again, which I should at least have tried too. What was remarkable last night was the number of girls we spoke too who had boyfriends already. I didn't realise it'd be so many! Either way, the HB6, I should have tried to number close at the very least. If only for practice.

4. Winged night game: On Friday night, I didn't open a single set. I was with my mates, who are non-PUA, and found it difficult (if not impossible) to open sets. Ridiculous. I do feel as if I am allowing it to become too much of a comfort zone, that I can only open when I am winged. Last night was great, and I was much more confident, especially after we'd opened a few sets.

5. Drinking: I probably drank too much in the end, and by the end of the night I was finding it difficult to keep up with conversations. I'm not an energetic chatty drunk - I'm a drowsy, sleepy drunk (as a rule of thumb, from when I start drinking, I've got 6 hours until I need to go to bed!). Next time, perhaps I'll drink a little less, and get more sleep!

With my game, I will always see the negatives, because these are the things which need focussing on and changing. But I should also just give myself a little break! Last night, I did things I wouldn't have been able to do a month ago. So as much as there are things to take away and learn from, and as much as there are frustrating sticking points throughout my game which I will address, there are other parts of my game where there has been drastic improvement. Last night was just my debut, and I've got a few games to play yet before I start to work it all out. Only I can do that. Its in my hands and no-one elses.

We woke up this morning (Dean was staying at my place) hungover and messy. We headed out to a cafe for some scrambled egg on toast before driving Dean back to the station. We must have looked a state, puffy eyes, greasy messy hair, probably still a little drunk, me in my crusty old hoodie, Dean still in the same stuff he wore last night.

We finished breakfast, and went to pay. I noticed the girl serving was quite pretty. I scanned her up and down - HB7. Dark hair, slim, tights and shorts, and bright blue nail varnish.

"Cool nail varnish" I grinned at her.

"Thanks. I think it makes me look like a mermaid though."

Game on...

I am angry and pissed off. With myself, of course, there is no-one else to blame for this.

Met up with a wing on my lunch hour today. For the last few days I've been feeling very down beat. For all the reading I do about PUA, I've felt like I'm getting nowhere. I've been in the field, but increasingly, I just need some major progress to keep myself moving forward. All the momentum I had a fortnight ago has washed away. Its left me feeling like I need a shove / kick in the right direction.

I opened 2 x 2 sets on my lunch hour. Went fine. The first was two Spanish girls. I began to move towards closing, which is some progress - saying I wanted them to teach me Spanish. But they said they were leaving the country tomorrow. Fine, at at least I asked. The second set was ok, fairly fun conversation, even if just for 30 seconds. I didn't move towards a close though, just ejected.

Generally I feel deflated right now. A few weeks back, I was bouncing around. I was starting to open sets with ease, and it felt great to be able to approach girls in the street, and even in night clubs. But just lately, I've started to get very bogged down. I haven't seen any results yet. I haven't closed. And I'm getting impatient.

Today I wanted to move towards closing. I did, but only very lightly. I kinda felt like, after 30 seconds of street conversation, it was stupid to try and close from there. Grr.

Out tonight with non-PUA friends. Might get some sleep when I get home, and then NLP myself to the fucking eyeballs before going out to pump myself up a little.

But I've hit a massive hump with my game. It'll be great when I get over this. But right now, I am struggling.

You aren't struggling. Everything is fine.

You think you could be Ronaldo after 4 weeks training? Of course not. Mastery is a long way off. The more relaxed you are and fun you have the better you will learn. So get off your own case.


Peace,

kowalski

Of course you're right K. I think today as well I was suffering the exhausting effects of a long week of 14 hour days in work. So I'm going to rest myself tonight, sleep in tomorrow morning, and then make sure I get a good few hours in the field tomorrow afternoon and tomorrow night. I am putting myself under an immense amount of pressure, which I don't need to do!

Tonight, after another 12 hour day in the office and after a week of early starts and late night, I am going to stay in, have a few tins, and watch a few films. Take it fucking easy for a change.

I'm meeting a wing for coffee tomorrow, hopefully get in a few hours of game, and maybe get a night out in tomorrow night if anyone's about.

Deeeeeeep breaths...

Was out this lunchtime with Mick from Liverpool. A much better day, much better than last week. The sets were fine - opened, talked a little, disqualified, etc. And I opened with ease.

But the important thing for me was just the approach I took, and my feelings towards what I was doing. Last week, I felt a little disconnected and disillusioned. But today, possibly after listening to Tyler Durden on the way into work discussing reality and breaking down reality to make it stronger, I realised that every time I'm out, its just another session in the PUA gym. Its just another session of lifting a few weights that I couldn't lift a month ago.

I'm not gonna become buff and ripped overnight. Its gonna take time. The important thing is to make sure I keep going to that f*cking gym, keep following my routine, and be persistent. Because even if I can't see the results on the surface, the muscles beneath the skin are definitely becoming bigger, stronger and more flexible.

I'm also dosed up to the eyeballs on Beechams. Hence a slightly misty eyed post!!

More day game today. Met Mick on my lunch hour, and we circled around town, opened a couple of sets each. It has felt much better this week, much fresher and easier to open the sets around me.

I opened three sets using canned material. The first two were odd, because both of them responded with the same question: "Is this a joke?". Strange... The third set, four young Irish girls, went very well. Mick came into this set with me, and we sparred with the girls a little. A few shit tests which I fended off. The girls finished asking where the Albert Dock is. I said 'Its right over there - see that massive sign that says 'Albert Dock' on it? That's sort of a clue'.

The girls said they were going off on the duck boat tour thing that they do in Liverpool. I said I hoped they had a good time... Although later, I said to Mick how this was an obvious instant date opportunity. I couldn't have gone through with it as I had like 20 minutes left on my lunch hour. But for future reference, that'd have been fun.

Then, the big success. Mick wanted to try a direct approach. So he did. Then it was my turn (I'm not gonna let anyone outdo me!!!). After a few failed attempts to approach, I spotted a slim blonde coming the other way.

I sucked in my AA... Took a deep breath... And said 'Hey... I just had to stop you, and tell you, but you're the most gorgeous girl I've seen all day!'. She smiled and said thanks, and I walked off - heart racing, but God it felt good!

Another few weights lifted... Another successful PUA gym session!

Onward...

Direct approach, nice one mate.

Nice one CO. I guess the girls may have thought the canned stuff was a joke because it is rehersed (like a joke).

Anyhow, good work on the direct approach!

I'll keep this one brief. The tiniest of tiny baby steps last night, which is progress.

Was out with my non-PUA mates last night. I've had a problem in the last few weeks with this group of friends. They don't approach girls, have major oneitis issues, and are belittling of my mission to talk to more women I don't know. This has meant, in previous weeks, when I've been out with them I haven't opened any sets myself, possibly partly through fear of what my mates would say.

Last night we were out in town. After a night of getting frustrated (and lacking the bollocks to take action), I finally made a move. I was speaking to one of my housemates, a decent lad called Jimmy. He was complaining that we were just standing in this bar, not talking to anyone. I turned and saw two girls behind me, HB7s.

'You mean talking to girls like them?' I asked. He said yep. 'Ok, lets ask them about custard.'

I turn, choke down my AA (which I still get), and open the set. Good body language, hands expressive, and although I was pretty drunk I thought I explained myself pretty well. It turned out these girls were French, and I had a little banter with them about this.

I turned to bring Jim into the set, but he hadn't followed me in. He'd snuck back into the group of lads we were out with, to watch from the safety of the pack. Fine, but after a few minutes chatting to these girls, one of them said 'I have to go pee' and took the other one with her. It wasn't exactly the best pick up ever - I was drunk and talking shit.

So the girls leave. And what's the first thing that happens? My housemate Jack - who has also been watching the interaction (and who has been most vocal in his mocking of me), comes over and takes the piss, waving two fingers in my face and laughing. But I grinned back, and said 'Fuck me that was fun' - because it was! I got that tremendous fucking rush that comes from opening a set, from talking, even if its shit conversation.

'Why are you so happy?' he asked (literally he asked that, in those exact words! What a twat!). I just told him the truth: 'Because I spoke to girls I've never met before. That's progress - and that was actually really good fun!'

I told him, if he thought it was that easy, that it was his turn to go and speak to someone. But he declined. Fuckin chump.

So, as I said at the beginning, that was a tiny little baby step last night. But that is still progress. I only opened that set. But opening a set with my non-PUA friends around is an important chunk of progress in itself. Little piece by little piece, this jigsaw is fitting into place.

Probs out again tonight. So, lets go!

Bold moves man, much respect. Next time you are out with these kids and there are fit birds about play 'Have you met ...'.


Peace,

kowalski