Loving your response to her text.

Went out in town tonight, pre-Poland. Marks out of 10 - I'd say 6 for tonight. It could have been better. But it could have been so much worse.

Met the Liverpool guys in town for another evening of sarging. I warmed up by just being sociable. Asking guys what band was playing in the bar we were in, just generally talking to people around me.

I opened pretty well, and actually opened using a few non-canned openers. I say non canned - I guess in a way one of them sort of was. One of the bars we went too has one of those 'Text your message here' screens. I noticed one of the messages read "Pierce Brosnan dead! Heart attack strikes again!"

So that became my opener for a while. Asking girls if it was true. A few had seen the same message on the screen, giving me an obvious root. Others needed explaining.

I opened a three set with this, jousting with the girls. After a few minutes, some guy smoking weed comes over, obviously part of their group. He butts in and mutters 'Are you doing her?', referring to me and the target, an HB8.

I put my arm around him, turned to the girls, and said 'This guy wants to know if I'm doing you. What should we tell him?'. A bit more friendly banter with the guy, and he was neutralised. Make guys your friend - this gives huge social value. Anyway, I number closed the HB8 after 15 minutes of fun conversation. Jordan her name was - and it turns out she's only 17. I'm 26. I guess that makes me a bad man... Although to be fair she looked much older.

We went to Bumper. I spotted a gorgeous 2 set sat on some sofas. I hesitated. I didn't want to open them, and went back into my head a little. After a minute or two, my wing asked 'Any sets around?'. I said 'Yeah, well there's a two set on that sofa down there.'

Immediately I regretted this. I knew my wing wouldn't let me not open them - he was doing his job well. 'Go on then, open' he said.

'What with?' I replied. Fucking stupid question. Before he could answer, I had realised what I was doing. Talking myself out of opening a high quality 2 set with any excuse I could find. I broke away from my wing, and walked past the girls, focussing on the back part of the club which was closed off. I turned and looked down at them.

'Hey girls... Is that bit of the club open yet, or is there a private party on there or something'. This led to a minute or two of chat, with me focussing on another HB8. They had to get off after a moment - they'd been waiting for their mate before going onto another bar, and when their mate arrived back she dragged them both away. But I was happy enough. I'd opened a potentially difficult set, and I'd done it without a canned opener. Excellent!

It got to 1am, and I had to leave my wings and go and meet my non-PUA mates. As much as I love sarging, I also love my friends. They've been good to me over the years, and I do tend to neglect them. So I headed off, assuming that was the end of the night for sarging.

Met my mates, and had a few drinks. After a while, it was just two of us left, back in Bumper. I was having a bit of a go at this lad. He told me how he's got off with some girl that another of my housemates really likes. I found this really shit, and I was (and am) angry with him for putting some girl ahead of one of his close friends. I told him as much, and I'll tell him again tomorrow, when we're both sober.

I asked him, why not meet some new girls? Why do you have to restrict yourself to the girls in our social circle? He responded with 'Ok then, go and talk to someone'.

I didn't give a shit anymore if he knew about my PUA activities or not (I tend to keep them to myself). We walked a few feet through the club, and I spied a 2 set, HB7 and HB8. I strode up to them, and opened, using the custard opener (some things never die!).

CO: Girls, I need a quick female opinion on something. Custard: Do you like it hot or cold?

HB7: Hot! Always hot!

HB8: Custard? I can't stand custard!

CO: [Grabs the HB8, spins her around so she's facing away from him, and pushes her away] That's just weird, you're not allowed to be in this conversation anymore. [Turns back to the HB7] So, hot custard. Tell me more...

They absolutely loved it! My housemate was stood there like a lemon (worst winging ever!), and was just watching amazed as I quickly began to make these girls laugh and enjoy the interaction. I turned and isolated with the HB7 (I'd have preferred the HB8, but the way we were standing made it difficult). We started to play around. We did funny dancing, I let her wear my scarf. It was so easy. So, so, so easy.

Now, kino was flowing by now. I had my hand on her back, pulling her into me, setting positive boundaries. Making sure she knew it was flirty. And she was reciprocating, pulling herself closer into me, pushing her body up against mine.

But... But... BUT... I didn't close. I could have leant in and kissed her at any point I wanted. But I didn't. Why the fuck didn't I do that? Why? I'm kicking myself now, I'd done the fucking hard work. This was the easy bit. If she wasn't interested, I'd have had IODs - Indicators of Disinterest. This is a new concept I am working with. Fuck IOIs. They're hard work to follow, and generally the rule for me is that as long as a girl is still talking to you and is responding to kino, then she's interested. You can assume attraction. If you have IODs - if she's acting distant, pulling away, blocking your kino, then you know to back off. IODs are much, much more helpful than IOIs, in my opinion.

Anyway, so yeah, I'd done everything right. To this point, it was a near-perfect pick up. The opener was only dwelled on for a second before ploughing into conversation. I was high energy, I was funny, I played around with her, I kept everything right, and she responded perfectly to everything I did. All I had to do was move in, and kiss her.

But I didn't.

A few minutes later, and the chance was gone. My mate, who had been chatting to the other girl, had run out of things to say, and as such the other girl was now essentially cock-blocking me. She stole the HB7 away for a few seconds, and suggested they go outside for a cigarette. My mate said he wanted a drink. So I said my goodbyes to the girls. I did try and number close her, but she said 'Just meet us outside in a minute for a cigarette'. So I left it. Maybe I should have ploughed on here, but I was conscious the moment had passed.

So obviously plenty of positives to take, but I have no idea why I didn't go for that kiss-close. Its like playing right back, getting the ball just by the corner flag in your own half, dribbling the length of the pitch around the opponent's strikers, midfields, Mascheranos, and defences, and then effortlessly rounding the keeper only to balloon the ball miles over an open goal. Argh!

We left shortly after this. Another of our mates had been refused entry to the club on account of how fucked he was (wise move on the bouncer's part, actually - he is fucked). And then my ex-girlfriend turned up. She came through the club door as we were circling around the bar. I was in a well charged social mood, and so grinned and waved at her. She looked terrified, and then blanked me, obviously out with some bloke and not knowing how to react. I didn't want to be around after this. Quite apart from having to watch her around the place with some other feller, I didn't want to open any sets thinking 'she might be watching'. I wouldn't have been focussed on the girl I was speaking too, but rather on the idea that my ex was watching, so I'd better not fuck it up. That isn't healthy. So we called it a night.

Thoughts

The ejected K-close is obviously the grand fuck up of the night. But there are positives to take none the less. I am moving away even from canned openers now. It felt great to be out in the field and just being sociable. And I opened a set with my non-PUA mate in tow. That's definitely worth noting progress.

I felt early on in the night, and especially while I was with proper PUA wings, that I could have done more to go kino in my sets. I didn't quite bounce early on like I usually do, and a few times I had to consciously try and drag my energy levels up. But then, I've now been up for almost 24 hours. Sometimes your energy levels do fall away a little.

Guys, I need a male opinion on something: Is it ok for a 26 year old to leer over a 17 year old?

Yes

YouTube - Nathan Barley - Splashing a few tonsils

LOL!!!

.......Yep that's me!

Love Nathan Barley, he's well Jackson.


Peace,

kowalski

Random comment, not relating to anything you have mentioned here, but I feel the need to say that Liverpool is an awesome place to go for a night out. Went there last month on a Satuday and I have never seen so many fitties out as I did that night around Concert Square, including nights out when I've been in Kavos/Malia/insert other shithole that has been destroyed by British tourists. There was a point in the night when me and my mates just stopped on one of the corners outside, simply to have a concentrated 5 minute perv on the talent that was streaming around us. I think the night was truly magnificent because I ended up pulling one of the fittest girls I have ever set eyes on, gorgeous Dublin accent too. Smoking hot. Need to get myself over to scouseland a lot more this year.

Anyway back to work...

6 weeks on, and this seems to remain true.

I was out last night with the Liverpool lads. I opened a few sets. A seated three set, a standing two set, a two set at the bar, a three set who sat in the seat where I'd left my jacket. Opening is fine now.

However, I still have a problem with persisting with my sets. In all sets last night, I ejected as soon as I felt slightly uncomfortable or felt as if I didn't have anything else to say. I didn't drive onwards.

I am still using some opinion openers, and I actually feel as if this is starting to work against me. I go over, get their opinions on guys wearing Ugg boots. They tell me, one way or another. And I say 'Great, thanks. Bye then' and I eject.

The next step is to plough on with conversation. This is the hump I need to get over now. When I stay on after an opener, I know I'm proving that the 'Guys, I need a quick 30 second opinion...' bit of the opener was just a lie.

So I think partly its because I want to eject before they've had the chance to reject. But also partly because I'm finding it difficult to switch between canned and natrual stuff.

Solutions for this:

1. Was it DeAngelo that said: Make the ho say no? Whoever it was, I could do with some of that. I need to talk to girls until they make it 100% clear that they're done talking to me - by walking away, asking me to leave, making an excuse, whatever else. I need to just force myself to stay in set, until it becomes natural to do.

2. Get away from canned opinion openers. These are easy to do - that's why I do them. But at some point, you need to move on from that canned opinion, which is the point when they think 'Shit, he's not going away yet' and you think 'Shit, they're thinking "Shit, he's not going away yet"'. Juggler says its ok to admit 'Ok, so look I just wanted to ask you guys that so I had an excuse to come talk to you'. State intent, theres nothing wrong with it.

But either way, I need to work out how to stay in set longer, and to do it constantly. 30 second conversations are easy now. I can do them with anyone. Its the 15 minute conversations which stand out.

More tonight...

Thanks for this post Co, a lot of it I can really relate too.

Its getting the intent vs being entertainment balance right. For me now its more about approaching girls that I've observed a bit and something genuinely interests me about them so I'm not worrying about what I'm doing talking to them.

The flip side to this is its a bit more disheartening if it goes pear shaped as opposed to when using the scatter gun approach.

Keep us posted and how you feel about your approaches. I'm interested to hear how your getting on.

I've not posted anything more about the weekend passed yet, as I wanted to just sit back a little, and let it settle in my mind before I wrote anything down. I usually write FRs immediately following a night out while its all fresh in my mind. However, my concern isn't with the specifics of individual sets from Saturday night. My concern is broadly with my whole approach, and specifically, openers.

My last FR spoke of my frustration at not being able to stay in set. That I go in, talk for 30 seconds, and then eject. I linked this back to the use of canned opinion openers - that once I'd got a girls opinion, I felt a fraud when I then stayed in set longer than the question permitted.

Saturday night was much the same. I stuck stubbornly to canned opinion openers, and I didn't get very far. One or two interesting conversations flowed, but all in all, I felt low energy and like I'd hit a wall.

The very last set I opened on Saturday night, however, stands out as being different. I was in Bumper with my wing, and I was explaining to him my canned opinion openers frustration. It was late, and we were planning on calling it a night before long. However, I spied a 2 set at the end of the bar. I approached, walked half a yard past them, and then turned, and grinned: 'Oh, my, God! You guys look like fun!'

And I turned and slotted into a conversation with them, that lasted for 10 minutes or so before I ejected and returned to my wing.

I was chuffed after this. Its not perfect. I'm not going to go round telling girls that I think they're all the most amazing fun in the world. But I really do want to abandon opinion openers completely.

My aim in PUA is to become a natural direct gamer. Naturals don't go around asking girls pre-planned opinion questions. They just go around talking to girls. They just approach girls they like, and speak to them. I don't know how they do it. But I'm going to learn.

The opinion opener has served its purpose. Its helped me eridicate my fear of approaching girls. For me, going out and speaking to girls is now a normal thing to do. 2 months ago, it would have been an outrageous thing to do! So it has been useful.

However, now I've got a feel for the saddle, I need to get shut of the stabalisers and learn to ride on my own two feet.

This is my goal for the weekend coming: to go back to square one, and to see how many girls I can open, not worrying about the outcome, but rather just getting used to going in and talking to girls. If I fuck it up, fine. I've learned that doing that doesn't matter.

But I won't fuck it up. Girls like being approached. They like talking. And when I approach them, and don't even need some random question to provide an excuse to talk to them, my value is going to shoot through the fucking roof.

The foundations have been laid. Its time to begin building on them.

You're body language sounds a little pre-planned too. Don't think that you need to walk past and pretend you suddenly noticed them.

Great work though. It's a step in the right direction towards your new goal.