I had a chance encounter with the Austrian girl last night when I was out. She was out with her flat mate.

As soon as he was out of earshot she was giving it, "I want to see you. I have a lot of questions I want to ask you." She is reading a novel I wrote.

I say, "You can ask me now." So we spend the next 10/15 minutes blathering on about the central character in my book. She is psycho-analysing every aspect of the protagonist and trying to understand how much of it is autobiographical.

Then she says, "I want to talk to you more in private about this. Can I see you before I leave? I owe you dinner."

"You owe me more than dinner," I say, not answering her question. Then we walk out of the bar where her flatmate is waiting outside.

He's actually a nice guy. In different circumstances he might be someone I could hang out with. There is no bad vibe between us, as such. He did tell me that he was jealous though, the first time we met and she left with me, and obviously I wish that he didn't exist.

Then along comes a random AMOG who starts trying to intimidate me and get in my personal space. I'm in an extremely calm and controlled mood and we end up going nose to nose. I refuse to back down or break eye contact. Then he just fucks off.

The Austrian chick and her flat mate look pretty impressed. I shrug it off and quickly change the subject. Then they leave together. He shares a flat with her, there's nothing I can do about that, although if she were my gf I would insist that she move out.

I get a text message when I arrive home:

Was nice meeting u tonight. good night (and don't get into any troubles)

I get the feeling that birds tend to send text messages in the middle of the night to try and show you that they are not busy being fucked. Whether they are or not is a different question. God knows.

Just had a bit of a mad telephone convo with her. She invited me to a concert tonight. I told her that I am sticking to my guns. If she wants to hang with me she has to know why.

She turned it around to, "So, you want me to tell you on the telephone that I will fuck you, if you come out with me?" I said, "I don't want it to sound like that and I do enjoy hanging out with you, but it's frustrating for me that it keeps ending the same way. I like you, but I'm not going to tolerate being messed around. I'm not going to be number 2, I'm number 1 or nothing."

She responded, "Well, I really want to go to this concert tonight and I wanted you to come too, but if you're not coming I will go anyway. I will call you tomorrow and we can 'have dinner' at your house or mine. I have the house to myself. And then we can see what happens, but I just don't want to tell you over the phone if I am going to have sex with you or not."

How have I played it guys? Am I being too obstinate? It sounds like I am giving her an ultimatum, but I am sick of being LMRed and I refuse to keep putting myself in a sexually frustrating position. Any advice welcome, please.

And I think that's fair enough. Don't ask her to spell it out, just keep ploughing on. Stop looking for guarantees. Take some risks.

I folded and called her. She said, "What is it?" in a really sad voice. I replied, "What time is that concert? I'll come." Her voice completely lit up. She said, "Yeah, are you sure? That's great!"

I'm meeting her in an hour.

That's good advice Nova. I have to stick to my guns but I can't make her spell it out. It's not very smooth. I'll let you know how the 'dinner' goes tomorrow.

Umm if I were you I will be dating other girls to get rid of her emotionally, and at the same time she will be jealous & becoming more attactive towards you

Then bang! she realises what she really wants - you

I have been doing that too. She came around to my flat once and there was a woman's earring laying next to my computer. She didn't say anything but I saw her staring at it. Then later she started asking me strange questions like, "So, who was it that fixed the button on your jacket?"

Anyway, I'm glad I went to the concert with her tonight. I need things to do that don't involve drinking alcohol, as I am trying to go dry. She was all over me and we made out a lot. She has the house to herself tomorrow and has invited me around. She knows the score, I have set her straight, so I shall hopefully conclude this chapter.

I think you are setting yourself up to get hurt. Sounds like you have deep feelings for this girl and are willing to overlook the shit so you are not "alone". When you rang her back to go to the concert, it was probably a turning point that she knew she had you by the balls. I would NEXT her, why compromise? You are better than this..

She sounds clearly promiscious, but just not with you.. Why do you think that is?

Tut tut. Creating jealousy is a poor way to behave. Plus it will probably only inflate attraction temporarily in the girl's mind with regards to you being 'the only man for her'.

You should be seeing other girls to please yourself and with that the realisation will come that she is only one of many girls you could have.

No Boscher, it's not like that. I need to explain the dynamic better. She is far from promiscuous. She has only been sleeping with one guy. In the meantime, I have slept with four women and made out with another two, as well as constantly getting off with her.

She happens to share a flat with this guy, so it's a tricky situation. This set up existed well before she met me.

They are not a couple, but I think he is in love with her. Because he lives with her, he always has the opportunity to plead with her. I've met him a few times. He is a lovely guy, but far from alpha! He's more your love sick puppy dog type.

One night she met me and we just hit it off. He was immensely jealous when she left the club with me on my scooter. At that point, I didn't even know there was a story with him. She and I made out that night but nothing more.

I've had quite a few dates with her since then and we make out every time. She has been back to my house about 3 times and it has always ended in LMR; I think because she feels guilty about this other guy and also has ASD issues.

She does not have me by the balls. On the contrary, it's usually her that calls me and I often turn her down, because either I'm busy or I just don't want it to end in LMR again. In fact last night, she exclaimed down the phone, "Why is it so hard for me to get you to come out with me?"

She has described me as one of the most confident people she has ever met and says that I always seem strong and never show vulnerability, to the point of arrogance. In fact, I've had to tone it down a little to show her that I am actually human and also have many insecurities.

We've only just started hanging out again, as I blanked her out for a couple of weeks due to the LMR. However, since then she has gone out of her way to chase me quite a bit, with phone calls, texts, turning up in places where she knows I'll be. During a chat on facebook she told me she has feelings for me and has been thinking about me, wants to see me etc.

I'd be a liar if I were to say that I don't have some feelings towards her too. But at 33 years of age, with quite a bit of experience behind me, I do not fall in love easily at all!!!

I've been rendered helpless for a woman only once in my life and got drop kicked in the heart big time. It taught me one hell of a lesson and for me to fall in love now would take a VERY special woman and a lot of trust indeed.