Alright so this is my first field post guys after my first night out sarging. And it's left me with A LOT of hard lessons. Ill start by giving you this. Im a student 20 years old and iv never had a long term girlfriend in my life, 2 months being the best of a bad bunch. Iv been told im a good looking guy, i have been offered a modelling shoot (turned it down because i didn't think i was good enough) and i actually get aproached alot by women...i just don't know what to say.

so i went out last night with a couple of mates to our student union. We have all read the game and become hooked with the idea of picking up women on a regular basis, none of us are particulary great with women, myself definitely being the worst! Its strange because at 20 yo i have probably kissed over 30 different girls (and i have standards) yet the idea of approaching really fills me with nerves...i mean im a wreck when forced into a conversation. But jesus i didn't realise the scale of my patheticness until last night......

We entered the club and i had been talking up how i was going to approach a girl, any girl within the first 10 seconds of walking in there. Needless to say i didnt do it. We walked across the balcony and downstairs towards the main dancefloor area and went to the bar to get a drink. I dont know why i guess it was the excitement mixed with nerves but i felt really wiered at the prospect of actually talking to a girl, i was out to sarge and all i wanted to do was get pissed and dance in typical AFC fashion. But im on a mission, a path, a new direction that is going to get me laid by hundreds of beautiful women (sic) i knew i had to change my attitude, getting battered and grinding up against girls on the D floor is for AFC's...

So im up at the bar waiting to get a drink, im examining the room for HB'S theres a lot, mostly 7's and 8's but i spot this 9 maybe 9.5 on her in a 3 set with two other guys. Before i could do anything this HB8 with two friends (HB6'S at best) clocks me at the bar and the 3 of them walk over. They set themselves to my right hand side and one of them leans on the bar as if shes waiting for a drink. This is it...wait...wtf am i going to say...my mind goes blank, everything i have read about opening up until this point (cocky funny lines,opinion openers) there all gone. Im an AFC. i order my drink, and the next thing i know the HB8 who had given me eyecontact before starts grinding her ass against my leg in an up and down motion...wtf! im frozen i have no idea what to do , her friend is still stood next to me so i open her with something like

Me: Hey (nervous smile)

my Value couldnt be lower

Her: hey
me: so what drink are you getting?

right now i realise how pathetic this will read to you guys. I have a HB8 giving me IOI'S of the most ridiculous fashion and i stammer out an akward hey to her firend whilst she is grinding up me like a freaking dog on heat. Seriously this was somethin out of a comedy show it was that bad. Anyway so my one of my friends sees me struggling, and comes in and gives me a lesson. He taps taps the HB6 at the bar on the shoulder and says,

Wing: your friend always like this (laughs)
her: (laughing) yeah how'd you guess?

My wing works the 3 set whilst i stand there pathetically thinking ewhy didn't i do this, whats wrong with me? they leave after 5 minutes and the HB6 grabs my shoulder before she leaves and whispers bye in my ear. What could have been....i actually get a flash of mystery slapping me in the face. Weve only been in the club for 5 minutes i havent approached a girl but have been approached myself, being treated to a half lapdance and recieved IOI's from to HB's. But i haven't done a thing about it. My fear of talking to women has taken over me and my lack of confidence is seriously holding me back.

I spend most of the night dancing and talking with my mates. And i make akward conversation with a few girls at the bar, only one sets. But they go nowhere and fast because that little voice in my head keeps telling me im not up to this.
Later that night on the dancefloor pulling out some horrible moves no doubt, the Hb9.5 walks over to me gives me the eyes and says:

HB9.5: hey, all my friends have left me (puppydog eyes)
Me: ahh that sucks, are you a student?*

* course she a god damn student, were at the student union and shes wearing a tshirt covered in uv pen writing. I realise the absaloutely pathetic nature of my words as they roll off of my tounge, bu i cant help it ...Im an AFC.

This was a perfect oppourtunity to do some cocky funny stuff on her maybe neg her with something like 'oh so you do have friends, i thought you were one of those creepy stalker girls that iv been getting lately...thats good to know' this im sure would have worked a treat and im pretty sure as she opened me from behind, that i would have at least number closed her if i had tried. Instead i spoke a few akward words demonstrated i had no value and got away from the situation as quickly as possible by rejoining my friends and dancing.

By the end of the night i had been opened by about 4 girls. i had opened nobody properly myself , i had no number, no facebooks needles to say no action. I had failed, all i was left with were regrets. You know i wouldn't blame you guys for questioning whether i was gay. Im not, im just have no confidence. But its gonna change, its definitely gonna change. I will do this!!

All the best,
Sage

Sage

The fact you managed to talk to these girls is wonderful! Don't ever assume that you have low value or that you need to say something amazing to impress women, to get them to notice you. This is a fallacy of the communit, when newbies who have had a lot of anxiety approaching women, are led to believe they have low value or they need to lower women's value in order to be at their level. I have opened many times with real lame shit like "its so cold today" or "I love your jacket" And you know what its been perfectly ok because I have transitioned. Remember, an Opener is just to open!

I used to be very very shy years ago, I'd come home crying after a fruitless night because I never had the courage to talk to any girls. In reality why should it matter, you're still young and you should be having fun. I know its hard when at the back of your mind you want to get laid or just get a girlfriend but this will happen if you learn to relax.

Never look at this as failing. You only fail when you give up so really you havent; failed. If you learn from your mistakes then that will be a success. You see what happens is you bombard yourself with material, cocky funny lines, routines, gambits and the like and it blows your mind. Its like giving a hungry little child a sweet shop all of his own. The problem is that as a beginner you think that you have to use all this to get the girl but you really don't If you worked on your confidence and just being comfortable with who you are, you can say anything. The girl feels your value when you appear to be comfortable in the world, nothing phases you and you come from a place of abundance rather than lack.

When people start learning canned material they become obsessed with trying to make it work, trying to find a good time to use the latest lines or openers. Its like putting a plaster on a gaping wound. Although using canned material may help, you will still have this inner game problem unless you begin to believe in yourself.

Would it be so pathetic just to say "hey hows it going?" Maybe people believe this would be lame because it wouldn't work. And it doesn;t work for them because they are still not comfortable in themselves so they have to rely on lines made up by other people. Not saying theres anything wrong using canned lines but don't just rely on them, build up your confidence too.

What else do you do for fun, for hobbies, recreation? Go out make new friends, do fun activities.

Don't feel bad, we've all been there! I know from personal experience as I have approached girls totally shitting myself. Its not a nice feeling but over time you will learn to deal with it. Never ever worry about what you think is lame, if a girl is attracted to you it shouldn't matter what you say but what you convey with your non verbals. If you have confident body language then it doesn;t matter. Look at James Bond, he has great non verbals and can pretty much say anything to a woman but there is an underlying sexual communication going on with his body language.

Set yourself a goal of open atleast 5 sets! Give your wing say £10 and for every approach you do he has to give you some money back. So basically if you don't approach he gets to keep some of your money. It really doesn;t matter what you open with as long as you open.

I'd forgotten about feeling a certain value, most of the time now I'm outside of myself in set thinking about the girl rather than me. Most of my concentration goes on fancy talking, creating fun and a bit on planning ahead. Just wander about like you own the place and say 'hi who are you?' to people.

I went out on Friday and got laid with the hey hows it going line. The thing was she was looking at me as I was walking past and I moved in. It was just my confidence and the approach Invitation.
I actually like to dance on the floor. I only do it If I like the song. I've always been into dancing (no lessons just flow). If there's no one on the floor it makes you look really confident plus everyone watches you and it raises your value.

ad to that I also did the joey from friends line "hey how you doing" in a comical manner.

Hi Sage,

You should post an intro post as well, let us know where you're based etc etc Good luck with your gaming though, and make sure you follow through and get out there in the field and practice.

Awesome! She liked you and wanted your cock! You didn;t have to do much game at al. Infact if you hadm it probably would have fucked it up! A lot of people learning game would have messed it up with some bullshit like "who lies more?" A simple "hi how you doing?" is all you need! Non verbals are much more important than what you say!

yea I've been doing this for about a year and a half, and one of my biggest breakthroughs was body language and not over gaming. e.g Ross geferies if you keep banging on about incredible connections and unbelievable lust it's gonna be weird. kinda like toast with butter either on its own is no good

You didn't fail, because your goal was to open some girls. There is no such thing as 'properly' opening someone. Once you've communicated in some way with a girl, you have commenced an interaction with her, and you have opened her.

You said your goal was to 'approach a girl, any girl'. And you did that. Smile and be happy, isn't saying 'Hey' to four girls better than not saying 'Hey' to four girls?



Here's the thing. You'll look back and you'll think it all through, and it'll seem so easy. You'll feel a douche for not having just chilled out and relaxed and spoke to the girls. And here's another thing - next time you go out, it's gonna be almost as hard as it was this time. Its gonna feel almost as weird.

But you do it some more, and you do it some more, and you practice, and you perform and evaluate and repeat. And then, it'll get a bit easier. You'll see some girl and you'll think 'I'll go and talk to her'. And your feet will just walk towards her. It'll be easy.

But between now and then, there is a little bit of persistence needed. Keep going, get stuck in, get out as often as you can and meet girls as often as you can. Put yourself out of your comfort zone often, and you will grow and learn as a person.

And in time, you'll start to get real good at this stuff!

I concer with Coveroperation! You will get better, keep at it! Remember doesn;t matter what you say, its how you say it. If you're cool person, she will be qualifying herself to you. What I have found to get myself out of my head is meditation. It really helps to declutter your mind.

You know we are not born lacking confidence or insecure. As children growing up we explore the world with enthusiasm and have not conscience of whether people are judging us or not. Over time we become conditioned and lose our confidence.
I know next time you're going to do sooo much better! Infact right now I bet you are already changing!