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Default 08-02-2011, 07:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
i will follow that last story wth a bad one, it haunts me ...

so i was 18, in leeds, mates family party. So this woman... was short a few teeth...

but at 18 i was more interested in my notches than morals. So as the night progressed i got drunk she says


I HAVE A SPARE ROOM IF U WANT. so im sat watchin boxin with her... makes my move takes her upstairs.

im fingerin her an there is blood... she had a hairy muff but due to the fact this story would be passed to all my peers... i had to perform SO IM MUFTYIN THIS PERIOD BITCH TEETH FREE !!! IT MAKES ME CRINGE EVEN NOW, if anyone mentioned it for ages id flip. funny now tho

so she starts sayin in this thick YORKSHIRE ACCENT

AAAAWWWWWWWW PHYL SUCK MA NIPS.... pushin her tits in my mouth.

next day when droppin me off at the coach station (i was so depressed i wanted to go home ALONE & early) she says OH I COULD JUST TAKE U IN'TH BUSHES IM THEM THOR WOODS AND AV ME WAAAAY WI YA

oh my god i wanted t cry

Bad times she was abar 40 - 45 ish
I'm glad I didn't understand it all...


"Anonymous. Because none of us are as cruel as all of us."

Fail, but fail better!
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Default 08-02-2011, 09:54 AM

There should be a button that says 'Thanks?'


The Fuckest Uppest
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Default 08-02-2011, 10:26 PM

Phil mate, that is some hilarious laugh out loud shit.

Remember those 70s soft porn films back in the day 'Confessions of.....' Well there should be one about you called 'Confessions of Phil'.


It was fear of myself that made me odd
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Default 11-02-2011, 02:41 PM

This thread is jokes! Sounds like a riot. Some nights you just need a nasty ass Kebab soaked in garlic sauce
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Default 11-02-2011, 05:56 PM

Some older women can be pretty sexy! Once fucked a sexy big black mama! 45 she was and loved it at the end when she said "I want you inside me again" hahah Anyway fuck it I love older women and big women. They can be beautiful too!
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