For those of you who can't be arsed reading this, skip to the question in bold italics down the page.

For everyone else, this is the story of my night.....

Was meant to be meeting some people but couldn't find them, so spent half an hour choding around the club trying to establish their whereabouts.

I then had to make a decision to either (1) go home, or (2) go solo. Number 2 it was. Got chatting to a couple of guys at the bar, that lifted my spirits so time to hit up some ladies.

See two Oriental women at the edge of the dancefloor, did my usual 'cheers' with the drinks to both of them. Said to one 'are these all yours?' (pointing to the table with loads of bottles on it). Got a couple of laughs and a bit of banter.

MISTAKE 1: Too much talk, not enough action, and it then got awkward.

Ejected, then saw another girl nearby. Note that this was the point where the night went downhill.

She was wearing a magician's hat, was going to open her on this but got 'the hand' (talk to the hand). I ignore this and still try to open her anyway, she is then dragged off by her friends. Another of her friends is stood watching this, I then open her but she is initially resistant. I say to her 'I'm only trying to talk to you, your friend ran off like I asked her for sex'. Starts laughing, claw her in so she can her me, BLAM! Finally getting somewhere.....

Then ANOTHER friend (this time a guy) drags her away! WTF. Guy says 'that's my sister', I respond with 'I'm only trying to talk to her, none of my friends are here so I'm just being social'. The guy then tools me with 'is it no wonder that none of your friends are here, and no-one wants to talk to you?'. Wow.

I respond in the only way possible......'Because no-one can handle my AWESOMENESS! I am AWESOME!' At this point the guy leaves and goes back to the group. However, on the inside a nerve was struck.

See a middle-aged woman at the bar, go up to her and ask her if I looked like a sex pest. She smiles and says no, I already know she is married but just needed some validation (MISTAKE 2). However, she then steps away from me and to her friends.

At this point I thought 'fuck EVERYONE in here' and proceeded to the dance floor. I love the dancefloor, a thought ran through my mind to dance with both middle fingers in the air but decided against it.

The 'weird guy' accusations eventually got to me, and I didn't want to do any more approaches so called it a day and left.

Felt dejected on the way home - the most dejected I've felt for a while as I've now had a few crappy nights in a row.

QUESTION: Have you ever had several crap nights in a row, getting to the point where you didn't feel like going out again? How did you eventually get over it?

Despite what happened, there were some lessons learned:

1) Less solo sarging (for the meantime) - I'm finding this pretty hard-going on my own, there is too much rapport-seeking in my interactions and this is messing me up. I've tended to do better when out with other people;

2) Going out for the sake of going out - this is a tough one as you get better with more practice, but at the same time I want going out to be FUN as opposed to the more logical 'I must go out to get more experience'. In this respect, I completely ignored my own signature tonight!

3) 'Resistance Man' - a concept that Tim from RSD talks about, where the mind is spewing negative thoughts e.g. 'everybody thinks you're weird'. When the 'Resistance Man' pops up, you simply go with the flow:

Resistance Man: Everybody in here thinks you're weird....
Me:.....you're right, let's go and 'weird out' some more people then!

I actually did this once before and it turned my night around, so in retrospect I should have gone down this route.

Any feedback on anything I've said/did is welcome!

If you're going through hell, keep going.

Hell can be enjoyable eventually..

Is it stockholm syndrome?

Dude you're doing really well. Any other guy would have given up right away. I know yow went out before and had a great time because you werehaving fun and getting loads of validation. That guy couldn,t go out alone, he needsa bunch of girls to hold his hand. When you're on your own you become more self conscious because we have been socially conditoned that we should hang out in groups.

I have read many posts of guys going out alone and getting laid. If that were to happen would you still think it was weird. You are awesome but I think your blowing peoples circuiits. Imagine trying to put a 100 watt bulb in a 40 watt socket

If you want go get motivated, get horny, imagine you're having sex with these girls. Also why tell people you're alone unless you need to. You could always say you're early.


The thing is most people do better with their friends because they derive their state from them. They want validation from them when they approach. You may have found you approach more around certain people. This is called the audience effect. Without someone to witness your awesomeness and give you validation you begin to feel nervous and all those negative thoughts hit you like knives.

To combat this think of your best nights out, your best approaches so you can recall them when you feel you're having a bad night. You,re doing really well, don't let people get you down. They don't know you, that you're an intelligent and cool guy.

You got to ask yourself is it fair those girls are not being approached by you and fucking them? They probably want. You but poor girls have to go home dissapointed.

Appreciated man!

Amazing how when you sleep on it, it doesn't actually seem that bad the next day - just a couple of things that could have been done differently on reflection

Bro I remember when I started boxing about a month ago, it's something I've always wanted to do and something I would seriously recommend. But, when I finally stepped into the ring for the first time after about two weeks of training I absolutely hated it, why.... because I got punched in the face several times, and I was like what the fuck man (I mean I knew I was gonna get hit but I didn't think it was gonna be that hard or that many times). It was after this that my sparring partner who could see I was ready to say forget this said something very wise; 'in boxing the mark of a great fighter is not how hard he can punch but how hard he can take a punch.' These profound words can be applied to not just your game but almost every aspect of your life, I realised that physical toughness hits hard (that whole ur a loser shit that dickhead was telling you), but mental toughness (the fact that you can say to him and yourself that your awesome and actually mean it) KNOCKS PEOPLE THE FUCK OUT.

Keep on punching homie.

I always found, when out on my own, it was best to just go and make friends with people. Have quick chats, crack a couple of jokes, just talk to some people and enjoy yourself. Going out, on your own, with the express purpose of picking up women, is a bit wierd. Don't put too much pressure on the interactions. By having the confidence to just go and chat to people and make friends, you'll find women taking an interest in you.

Mate it must of been the same night I was there (was meeting up with tebbs) and I didn't have any successful approaches at Piccadilly Institute. But, I went there the day before and had a great time, dancing with some polish girls and getting free drinks from them.

The difference in the two nights was:

There were about a 100 guys to every girl, hence the girls were getting harassed and were very defensive. The previous night it was a lot calmer and target rich, it was easier to open girls.

I think the venue is important, you need to have a lot more game in tougher environments like that night. You have a lot more balls than me as I gave up quickly.

Dude, I used to Solo Sarge when i first moved to where I now live and it's tough so kudos to you!

I don't think you did anything wrong that night.

I would have made one change

At this point.

Change venue.

Reset

Sometimes venues are full of male and female chodes.

It's one of the advantages of big towns,
loads of bars,
loads of women


Simples

This line is on Rocky films..

Its not how hard you hit, its how many times you can get hit and keep on fighting

Something like that