Made the cross-London trek last night to meet up with Giant - cool guy, seems to be on the right path.

Started off in a pub, we're just chatting about life and other shit. There are a couple of pairs of girls around, but we're happy just to chill.

Move on to the next venue, whilst we're outside I open a pair of Spanish chicks, we get some good conversation going then they go back inside. Nice warm-up, feel a bit better now.

Whilst walking down the road Giant starts talking to 2 girls....they actually did a backturn to come and talk to him! Nice. So we are all chatting, one is a redhead and is not bad (7) so I try to zone in on her. Looking back, I think I was trying too hard for rapport rather than saying what was on my mind and that kinda staled the conversation out.

They tell us we should come along to Proud, and we go as we weren't too sure where to go. Lengthy queue, but eventually we get in. Whilst inside we wait for Giant for about 5 minutes, then they say they're heading off to the bar. Check outside and Giant is not there, then check my phone and get a text saying 'ID fail!' Daaamn.....

So now I have to make a decision, (1) go home or (2) fly solo. Having already paid, I opt for (2).

So this is how the rest of the night went:

1) Couldn't find the cloakroom, so asked a mixed set of 3 where it was. This turned into a 5 minute conversation with me telling them the story of my night.

THEN.......

The fear started to take over.

Loud music, a LOT of hotties, big club. Anxiety started to set in, the mind started giving me all kinds of reasons not to approach. I sat down to regain some kind of composure. After 10 minutes of choding about, I just thought 'keep it real' rather than creating imaginary scenarios. Let's do this....

2) Group of 3 girls - 'Is this the best club in Camden' opener. Almost immediately the HB8 grabs my glasses and wears them, and then we start dancing together. I feign blindness. The interaction ends with a kiss on the lips. Reality 1, Mind 0.

3) Open a group of 8 dancing women with the same lame opener. For those scared of approaching large groups - the group normally breaks down into a smaller group anyway, making it easier to engage them. I correctly guess they are a 'middle-class hen party'.

4) Pair of dancing girls - 'I Love your energy!' They bring me into their photo.

5) Blonde perched on sofa - ask about her tattoo, bit of misinterpretation, banter with her a little bit about being married.

6) Group of 3 'oldies' - I end up vibing with these women for most of the night. We were just messing around on the dancefloor, I got chatting a bit more to one of them as she had a cute look to her. So we're dancing on and off, however I'm conscious of just becoming the 'dancing partner' for the night so throw a couple of intent signals into the mix. Didn't really seem to be going anywhere....but never assume.

Towards the end of the night she says that she is leaving in a bit, I say I'm leaving now anyway and tell her that we should exchange numbers. Put the number in my phone, goodbye hug then BOOM! Makeout. Not a long one, but enough to let me know that this would be a solid number close judging by the smile on her face. And with that I departed.

What was learned
------------------

1) I NEED TO GO OUT MORE.

Going out + Approaching = Progress.

I hadn't been out properly for a couple of weeks, and the rustiness was evident. I excused myself from going out on Friday because I was 'tired'. I need to stop with these lame excuses

2) The mind gives you all kinds of fucked up scenarios......

99% of which turn out to be false. It comes from a place of low value - 'I will run out of things to say, they will not like me etc.' More practice = Less fear = Better results.

For Giant: at one point you said you felt awkward and I think I know why...we weren't really relaxed. Hopefully we'll go out again sometime and have an awesome night....and don't forget your ID!

Hey ude good work. Love how you composed yourself to gt out there on your own and break down your limiting beliefs.

Great post McLovin' good to hear about your close. I like how you just power into approaches, I think you'd opened twice before my single kind of open. To be honest I only asked them if they knew anywhere with a decent smoking area. It just naturally developed into a conversation from there. It's easy to open with questions, you just naturally start a conversation. I find it hard to open with the intent of pulling.

Those girls were only 18, I did get the number of the one I'd been chatting to though, because she seemed cool.
I found the whole lack of id thing quite funny, I could have got pissed off about it, because lets be honest, it is a bit ridiculous, but what's the point.

I think your spot on about the awkwardness thing, it is just a case of being relaxed, as I felt more relaxed I felt less awkward. As I was walking back to the tube station I was super chilled for some reason, and had a 8-9 (subjective I know) stare at me as I was walking up and stop me to ask me where there was a toilet (random) somehow I ended up with my arm around her (I think natural kino) said I didn't know, but suggested she try a pub, then told her she was absolutely gorgeous, got back "oh thank you so are you" and a massive smile. Quick hug and kiss on the cheek and I turned and walked away (idiot).

Ye we'll definitely head out again, though it'll have to wait till the end of the month as I am rather poor at the moment.

Went out on Friday night in Islington for my friends 30th. Ended up going to this nice little bar, where I met Green Jess (I call her this because she was wearing a green dress, highly unoriginal but effective). From the very start there is chemistry, her friends left her to it as well which is always a good thing. For some reason I was disqualifying myself heavily ('you live too far away, North and South don't get on, it would never work out etc.) but at the same time talking about going on a Caribbean cruise together. Lol.

Get the number, meet he friends who approve, go back to my friends for a bit, then find her again for a final dance near the end of the night. She says she has to leave, quick kiss, she is still holding my hand. I tell her (in dramatic tone) 'you have to let me go!' Her response is 'maybe I don't want to' and actually starts pulling me towards the door. On this occasion, however, I don't wish to leave my crew as I haven't seen them for a while.

The next day I sent a text (shoulda sent one straight after getting the number, but oh well) and then got anxious about the wait. Probably because I actually liked this girl. What the fuck, I do not like this feeling. Then I realised the solution to these feelings of neediness is:

MORE GIRLS. MORE. GIRLS.

Those who are good at this shit approach 1000x more than the average man, that is why they are better. Technique is 10%. Yesterday I made the decision to start putting my ass on the line a bit more when it comes to approaching. Watch this space, I feel some interesting FRs coming your way soon....

Nice FR smiley. Neediness is the easiest way of getting one itis and what you say about approaching is the only answer to it. Looking forward to your future FRs.

Friday
------

Out in Leic Sq & Covent Garden with GLG and JohnnyB, a couple of the other lads joined later.

Started of in O'Neills, had a lot of laughs in there - GLG attempting to stop every woman that walked by, with varying degrees of success!

I get talking to a Finnish girl, au pair, cute. Get the number, continue interaction. Should have pushed to escalate further.....oh well.

We leave, cracking jokes on the way to the next venue. GLG stops a mother-daughter pair on the way, he is in the zone.

So we get to Porterhouse, couple of sets here and there. Whilst outside we get talking to a girl who has split off from her group, eventually I am talking to her one-to-one. Some light flirting, but nothing really coming out of it - I will talk about this at the end.

Move from Porterhouse to another bar, again a couple of sets in there but nothing really hooking. We then head to the club opposite, Verve.

At this point everyone went and did their own thing. I went downstairs to the dancefloor part, the club is packed. See a blondie stunner in a 'dancing circle' full of chodes. Decide to make a beeline straight for her, but bottle out at the last minute. Aargh! However she then goes to sit down by herself, I umm and arr then think 'fuck it' and went to talk to her. Direct opener - 'hey, you are very cute' - turns out she was visiting from Germany and leaving the next day! The conversation was awkward as we were both sat down, but she was sitting higher than I was as I was sitting on a stool

After a while she made her excuse and left, I then wandered aimlessly for a bit until finding 2 girls sat down. After some misinterpretation one of them (I'll call her Life Coach, because that was her job) moves up and lets me sit down.

The next 30 minutes was continual shit-testing by Life Coach. Things such as:
'where do you see yourself in 10 years time'
'you're so full of shit'
'I have a partner'
'you're lying' (when I said I was single)
'do you think I'm attractive'

After every conversation I usually have an idea of what went right/wrong - in this case, I got owned and ended up qualifying myself. But live and learn, live and learn.....

Saturday
---------

Was out at a club in the O2 with a couple of friends, the one notable interaction was with a girl so was clearly on it. She asked me what I thought she was from 1 to 10, I said 8, she was surprised, I said 'you need to do extra to earn the last 2'. So she then does a little sexy dance, we dance together, I raise it to 8.5. Did not escalate again, even after she stopped dancing to put on lip gloss. Error! Get her facebook, she goes to find her 'friend' but.....

later on I see her by herself again, and then 10 minutes later by herself. Go to talk to her, she says he is talking to another guy and I need to wait.

WTF?!

Immediately delete her details, then have a moment of clarity.

Lessons learned this weekend
-----------------------------

I'm not really that bothered about not getting laid. And with this realisation, the heavy weight that I was dragging behind me has now been cut off.

A while back, I posted about pursuing goals outside of women, and these are now going really well. I could get laid if I wanted to, but it would be one of those shags that I would immediately regret.

This links with the failure to escalate - I am not escalating because I am scared of 'fucking it up', meaning that I think the woman is of higher value. But if I'm attracted to her, it should come naturally, and she would feel it as well. Likewise, she would also feel it if I was trying too hard or trying to put on a front (as may have been the case with Life Coach).

And if I escalate and get denied....well at least I showed her my intentions.

So now I feel I am entering another phase of self-development, best illustrated by this quote from George Leonard:

'....mastery is not about perfection. It's about a process, a journey.'.

Until next time....

A lot of birthday events this month so not really much going out; however there have been a couple of dates so all good. The post will just share my ideas on some things related to recent activities.

TEXT 'GAME'
------------

- I tend to use statements as much as possible rather than questions.
- It's not such a big deal now; I won't agonize over the content of a text, just can't be arsed with it ('Busy Man' effect - see later)
- I lot of the time I prefer to call girls rather than texting, the conversation is just more spontaneous

BUT.....

it seems that certain girls prefer to text rather than have a normal phone conversation. Anyone else had a similar experience? I'd be interested to know people's thoughts on this....

'BUSY MAN' ATTITUDE
---------------------

Recently I haven't done much 'sarging' simply because I've had so much other stuff to do. However, this has had unexpected effects.

My bullshit threshold has lowered considerably when talking to girls, because I literally do not have the time to be dealing with petty mind games. Example; I was out the other night, and the following happened when talking to this girl:

GIRL: 'Mine's a JD and Coke'

my response to this was:

'HAHAHAHAHAHA' and then walked off.

I really couldn't be bothered to continue the conversation after that nonsense came out of her mouth. She then went to find some other mug. Just don't have time for it now. Leading to my next point.....


I HAVE MY SHIT TOGETHER
--------------------------

We get hung up about whether we are 'good enough' for hot girls. Sheeet, I know I did when I first started on this journey. But now, if I'm getting AA or getting rejected, I just think the above. Not all my shit is together (yet), but going through the process is good enough. I mean for fuck's sake......

GIRLS CAN BE CHODES AS WELL
-------------------------------

It's happened a couple of times when I'm talking to woman and conversation is stale. Plow through it, or move onto the next? I think this one is probably a matter of personal opinion.

TRYING TO BECOME MORE 'PRESENT'
------------------------------------

I never really understood what this meant until now, as it has happened to dovetail with stuff I have going on at work. I see being present as simply being more alert to what is going on around you.

Anyways, I better finish with some kind of report - this is a summary from yesterday's date (Amy). I will provide a breakdown of certain parts (in brackets):

Meet at Victoria station, she doesn't know where we're going but I do.

(in the lead up to the date, I told her we were going on a 'mystery date'. Builds anticipation, it also that you are leading ALL the time because she doesn't know the destination)

We get to the location, which is ice skating.

(lots of physical contact)

After ice skating, we find a nice pub near Victoria station and settle in.

(make sure I sit next to her to make physical contact easy)

Conversation flows easily, so does the alcohol. We talk about everything and anything. She then starts to tell me about her '3 date rule' (this is date 2).

(what is interesting is that previously, I would have tried to bring logicality into this and ask why she had that etc. However my response is to laugh and say 'oh really?' and just ler her talk)

After a bit of going on about this, I decide enough is enough and tell her what I expect from a woman. This leads to my favourite exchange of the night:

ME: I like good kissers
HER: How do you know I'm a good kisser?
ME (deadpan): Well to be perfectly frank, I get a boner after kissing you
HER: Hahahaha

(previously I would have never imagined saying such a thing, but it's strange what having a 'Busy Man' attitude can do for you)

Lots of making out on the date, with her repeatedly saying how much she enjoyed her evening

So things are looking good, but I'm not resting on my laurels yet - time to start preparing for an epic New Year in the North. Until next time....

The last couple of months have flown by in somewhat of a blur.

In the New Year I banged Amy (see last post), she then went off skiing and I haven't heard from her since. To be honest, there was an awful lot of anticipation (she was saying she had a '3 date rule'), but the main event did not live up to the hype (a bit like David Haye vs Audley Harrison) which was off-putting.

This recent video by Tyler has really got me thinking about all aspects of my life:

The Truth About Success - Why You Should Rather Die Than Miss A Day In The Gym - YouTube

So I have made the decision to move out of my mum's over the summer. Pretty much given up on buying, one day it might happen, but need to have that independence now.

The female aspect of things right now is looking alright, but still with some work to do.

Until next time....(hopefully it won't be so long!)

Im 3...............