Mate don't get downbeat, you're a good guy, just focus on the journey placing 1 foot in front of the other, then you'll look up and say "bugger me, I'm at the top of this mountain"
I like your posts and field reports and think it'd be a shame to lose you chief!
I see there's no reason you can't do both! There's no reason you can't be a strong nice guy who leads, following advice on here and whilst reading books etc. I've tried to stay being a nice guy because I don't want to be a bad boy.

Yeah girls like bad boys, but they love a good guy who doesn't take crap! They know I'm fun, I will leave them to it if they're a bitch, but I'm not gonna be an out-and-out cock

right now you've got a fear of rejection, and you've gotta get over it. We can encourage, but ultimately you've gotta be the one to take the plunge.

Think of it like a roller coaster--- a lot of guys here are telling you it's safe to ride, you're not going to die, and you'll have lots of fun while doing it-- but right now you're standing outside the entrance line, kicking yourself back and forth because you're too nervous to take the plunge.

And maybe you don't need to rush to the next step. Maybe you're not quite ready, because you're not quite bored with the smaller rides yet (or just getting numbers from girls). I'd suggest not trying to go overboard and freak yourself out, but just understand that the drive should come from inside. We can encourage you on what to do, but ultimately no one's going to push you or pull you into moving to the next step. And so long as you keep moving forward, you'll know sooner or later when the time is right. No sense in getting yourself all flustered over it.

I'm starting trying to call instead of text, just seems I keep finding girls with boyfriends, more time more girls.
Yeah what you're saying makes sense, a few months ago I wouldn't have tried to get a number unless it was painfully obvious the girl was into me, now I just assume that people will want to talk to me again, so I give them my phone.

Something that's kinda swirling around my head at the moment is that maybe I'm not actually that scared of rejection anymore, maybe I was terrified of it for so long, that I'm now in a position where I've almost hypnotized myself into believing I am. Much like I managed to convince myself I'm no good with women, because I believe/believed these things to be true, they became true.

It's time for a new truth!