Ditto..........

she'd also have to not act like a child.

I don't think I'd be able to stand being around a 13 year old long enough for anything to happen, not matter how hot & willing she was

At least you woundn't need to ask them to dress up as a school girl

Eeerr im starting to get worried some of you guys have joined the Gary Glitter fan club!!!
Anyways i figured out what was going on all by my lil self.
Phantoms ex who treats her like shit is still hanging around and this makes me think im basically being made a back up cock/orbiter,so im dropping her.....till next time anyways haha

Edit shes not fucking her ex just telling him im trying to fuck her...shes fucking someone else but same deal i guess!!

Ive been putting this of for a while so best get to it.
Its been a pretty rough few weeks had a lot of shit going round my head....never good.

friday 27th January

Cant remeber much therefore i doubt much happened,i ended up sleeping with backup..again

Saturday 28th January

Really really good night had a lot of interactions going on,tge best was with a hot brunette who wears horny secretary glasses and insists i always come see her in morrisions.I pounced on her and dragged her to a seat to talk before her and her m8s knew what was going on.All her m8s were like whos that guy,whilst i had my arm round her chatting.I got off with her and was moving onto getting the number etc when there was a kick off outside with a m8 of mine so i had to rush off for peace keeping duties.When i got back she was gone bah
I keep seeing her in morrisons but shes always busy at work and im not gona be a douche dancing about trying to get her attention,tbh in a town this small ill get another crack at her sooner or later!!

I ended up fucking backup again!! tho sex is getting better and better these days (ass to mouth booya!!)

thoughts

This week sucked badly i felt pretty depressed,My flats cold (like antartica) and way 2 expensive on my own.My 6 month lease is up next month i want to move out but ive got no money for a deposit,shared house wont take me because of the rats and i wont leave them or give em away.My m8 (butch lesbian) said she might wanna get a 2bed flat wid me,could lead to some interesting options?!
Or a guy from work who is in a 4 bed house on his own,his land lord wants to move in drunks obv he doesnt want that so says dya wanna move in wid a m8 rent would be £230 ish all bills included.Problem is hes nearly 50 and a total chode kinda annoying guy,i think he would start to do my head in real quickly.Tho with rent so cheap if i could put up with it for 6 month it could give me some options.
So the car has to go i love it its a dream but i need money and im wasting money paying insurance on a car i cant afford to get on the road (£260 to cancel insurance!!) think the tv is gona go also,im pretty much getting rid of all non essentials in my life totally streamlining it cut out all the crap ive acumilated that i dont need!!

Right now this week.

Friday 3rd Febuary

It was my m8s birthday so i headed out late after work decent night pretty quiet,fucked backup,She didnt get up for work on saturday cos she wanted to stay in bed with me!! She said she just wanted a quiet dvd night in i was like thatd be nice i cant be arsed going out actually.

Saturday 4th Febuary

I pop round back ups for a quiet dvd night and theres a bunch of people there?!
her m8 from the navy (fat chode) and Nick the pot head:s
I said what happened to our dvd night?? oh my m8s not back for long,so i was like ok whatever.
Apparently Phantom her ex and m8 are out in town,so we all go to meet em (not that i want to:S).
I get to the pub and very quickly become uncomfortable (always do around Phantom ) i talk to her ex for a bit he seems pretty cool tho all he seems to do is waffle on about his job and how much money he make BORING!! so after a half hour of feeling like my state is nose diving into the ground i tell backup to give me the keys to her flat and i go sit in the flat on my own feeling sorry for myself
I start to chill out a bit and just as im thinking i might head back into town to see everyone they come back looking slightly worse for wear.
Fat chode seems to be trying everything he can to get into back up so i tell him to chill the fuck out or ill throw him out (not cos i was bothered cos she asked me to!!) Anyways long story short Phantoms ex and me seemed to get on tho he had the strong sense of reality i tbh cos i was tired just chilled out did talk loads,tried to hold court almost and watched the mayhem unfold.Highlights were me backup and Phantom all getting off with each other,Phantom giving me a hand job in the toilet,Fat chode leaving then ringing backup of which backup put the phone on load speaker so we could all hear then me and Phantoms ex asking her to ask him really personal questions (ie dya want me to suck you dick lol.He said i was arrogant and she should go out with him etc she ended up saying everyone was gone when we hadnt and when he came back over she got off with Phantom in his face of which he stormed out again,really mean but funny.However the end of the night went down hill majorly,i heard Phatoms ex and back up talking about getting and taking coke soon, of which i said previously i dont want to spend anytime around women on hard drugs,Phantoms ex walked Phantom home not me!! (hoping she would stay over!!) back up got so fucking blitzed to the point i felt like i was baby sitting her and when i wanted to sleep she want being a total knob and not letting me so i was like fuck this im going home.
things just really really grated me a lot.

Thoughts

.Back ups gone properly gone i cant be doing with that shit ive got enuff of my own.I will stay m8s but thats it.(fucking no wank febuary 2 ffs!!)

.Im going to the gym properly now with my personal trainer (god it hurts constantly)Im taking it very seriously and trying my best with the eating but its a struggle. So my week goes like this mon wed fri gym tues thurs teach myself to break dance sat sun mma which is a good set of things to do as they seem to compliment each other and all something i want to do.

.Im thinking of missing going out for a few weeks as im struggling to get in a pattern with the eating and sleeping well i really need to get that stuff down as its very important and im very aware im good at quiting stuff and this simply isnt an option!! tho being no wank feb in not so sure i will now

8 years ago - when i was 27 i met up with a 15 year old and she gave me a blow job in my car
felt weird txting her the next day and she telling me she was in school

Friday 10th Febuary

Had some kind of double date thing with me and Backup and her blondy leggy mate and her new fella.It went pretty well and was a good laugh mucking about on the just dance Wii game or whatever its called.It was nice to not be in a pub/club 2 for a change.Obv slept with Backup.

Saturday 11th Febuary

I ended up going to Northampton for a Northern soul night,which was way scary at first so out of my depth it knocked me for six.The whole thing wasnt my scene but it was nice for a change and to get away from small town living.I danced with a few birds but it was mainly older women who wernt exactly my type.So about 2 o clock i get back to my usual haunt in my town.Lo and behold that hot chick with the glasses is there boom straight in number drop,i try to push it further but she suddenly has to go (i text her a few days later no answer..oh well) so i wander about the place and meet quite a few peeps i havent seen in ages but no progress really.Then Backup turns up and well you can guess the rest right!!

All Over The Place
This week has been a nightmare ive felt extremily broke,depressed,ill and despondent.Ive not been well enought to go gym,i cant afford to eat the right kind and amount of food im spossed to.Ive got a ton of stuff hanging over my head,ive had a stand up row with a mate from work who called me a grass and now were not talking to each other,which makes my not so great job even worse.Plus Valentines gets me down badly every year,(tho id did go round backups with some viagra last night,even this cheered me up only briefly).
I feel like a failure i never complete anything or finish anything and if i start something always comes up to stop me ggrr i just want to lock myself away in my flat so i dont have to deal with anything anymore.

Lovefish, you sound like you're dangerously close to falling into a relationship with Backup or at least leading her to believe it is becoming one...

As for the not affording the food thing I would suggest frozen veg (always cheap) Tescos and Asda do frozen chicken breasts for £5, iceland do lean mince for £2 and if you need fresh veg then greengrocers and fruit & veg market stall make that very reasonable! I can do a whole weeks shop of healthy food incl. lots of protein for £20 or less when I'm skint, pm me if you need details.

Don't worry about the low feeling too, I go through a peaks and troughs and I usually find it came from relying on other people to deliver, the happiest I have been is when I sorted myself out with what I wanted to do. Yeah some of my friends were there but I would have gone without them and I sometimes did...

Decide what makes you happy then do it!

Thanks for the advice Dale
Backup knows i dont want a relationship with her and ive made this plain and clear to her on several occassions,she insists she also does not want a relationship,so id call it friends with benefits.Shes not gf material and never will be,i know id be selling myself short if i started an ltr.
Tbh I keep planning on being rid of her,but i find it hard when i dont seems to be particularly successful with getting other girls.Its hard to say No and go home on your own,when you know you could go back to hers and she will let you do anything you want pretty much (still a major novelty as my ex didnt want to do anything at all!!).
£20!! wow mine costs me nearer to £30-40 at morrisons,i think i need to shop around a bit more try to get better deals.I find it quite hard to get around 2 much as i dont have a car,so i tend to just go to the closest supermarket to me,plus in morrisons i know where everything is rather than hunting for ages for this that or the other,which does my head in when its busy.
Well things have looked up a bit since my last FR,ill explain more fully when i get a chance to do this weeks one,but im on the up again and learnt a thing or 2 along the way
I have decided what makes me happy and the rest of this year is dedicated to doing just that.