Hey guys.

So I'm Leo. Hailing from the great Republic of Scouse(Liverpool) but living in the big smoke. North London to be precise. I'm totally new to all this. I'd say I've been, up until this point, the epitome of your AFC. In fact its quite terrifying just how accurately that describes me.

In social situations I've always been too terrified to do a damn thing: crack a joke, flirt with a girl, anything out of the ordinary. I'd spend my time huddled in the corner drinking and smoking my way to an early grave because life seemed too frustrating. That's not to say I haven't had women. I've had a fair few. But only when I've been off my face. Few of which have ever gone on to interest me, yet, unable to forsee anything better on the horizon, I often settle into long term relationships that don't do either of us any good. This is going to sound cheesy but you really can't offer a woman love if you don't love yourself.

This whole game goes beyond picking up women for me. I'm really a believer that its about life. Recognising your own inner value is crucial in this world. When I was 18 I was pretty successful, but due to a lack of self esteem I didn't think it would last and I couldn't enjoy it because I didn't think I was worthy. Guess what? It didn't last. So then I worked, worked, worked to get somewhere again. Succeeded but again due to my lacking testicular fortitude failed to capitalise. Well no more. I've started the journey. Easing myself in. Mostly day game approaches just to get over my intense Approach Anxiety. No joy as of yet but its early days. The promise of what may come however, has kept me from smoking for three weeks. I've been a twenty a day guy for five years and never managed longer than three days before. Maybe the NHS could prescribe the game?

All the best.

Leo.

Welcome to the forum, dude

Its a fine point you are making here, along with the desire to develop as person comes the want to improve your life.

I experience was slightly different but got there in the end, when I first started I actually drank more for dutch courage and smoked to calm my nerves (even though I'd stopped), eventually I didn't need my nerves calmed and the drink only got in the way of keeping me sharp.

I'm with you there buddy! I believe when I find myself I will find my other half. I am not in the least bit happy with myself nor am I ready to take a woman home but I am on a journey of self improevement and I am determined. It's a good feeling to know you are on the right path isnt it! I'm just North of Liverpool myself, do you miss the North?

Cheers for the Welcome Rebus.

Knave, you're right. Being sharp is key. Not just for spinning the good yarns in the bar but for mastering inner game. When you're free of toxins you find out who you really are. After years of numbing myself I want to feel what's really going on. So if I am nervous when approaching, which I always am? Cool. Must mean I'm alive. I won't be joining the tea-total party just yet however, but certainly no sauce when sarging.

Lightnin, I do miss Liverpool. Where exactly are you from? I did a quick glance back at your intro. I understand what you are saying. It does feel good. It'll be tough. How many people actually manage to change bad habits? That's all this is. And to be fair, it sounds like when you do crack it, your going to have plenty to enjoy in life, what with your degree and ass whooping skills.

Don't tell big tobacco or they'll set the lawyers on Jaz and Twisted!

Welcome to the forum mate.

PS

Hey Leo, welcome to the forum buddy! Don't worry at all about "doing things wrong", it's all about learning, that's the fun bit! I personally feel the hardest part for me is the opener, so we are in it together for sure on that one. Just talk to anyone to start off, man, woman or beast. Doesn't matter if they say fuck off, you just need to get their attention. Baby steps! I'm sure people here will have your back and guess what, you just opened the room with your first post. Easy huh?

The holy grail of quitting smoking is a book by a guy called Allen Carr, its called the easy way to stop smoking. I read 3/4 and haven't smoked for 8 months. I've noticed that i'm a lot more confident, feel loads better.