hello,

i'm wondering if anyone has any dealings with work stress and can offer me their experiences with it?

suffering at the moment. lost sleep last night, just in a pit of frustration and anger.

never really had anything like this happen to me before really.

boss is a knob, talks to me like spit on his f**king shoe

cam

I only had one boss who was an untamable-cunt.

I was focusing on things other than work at the time so it didn't especially stress me out. Later, when I began looking to move forwards, he became a road-block to that.

I made an appointment with the GM, told him what had happened and advised that I was considering leaving. He asked me what else he didn't know about me but probably should, then appealed for me to hold on as there was a project coming up he thought I would be perfect for (the job I enjoy now).

That is all I have experienced.

Wish I could come shadow you though (this would be perfectly acceptable at my place, but possibly not at other places because everywhere is so different). I would like to say something more useful, but it is hard without actually witnessing these situations. There are levels upon levels and sub-texts galore in most workplaces.


Peace,

kowalski

thanks for your response k.

times are just tough at the moment. i feel for people who have to go through these times more often than i have.

i can't even escape it. that's what sucks. you go for a walk, it follows you, you try and go to sleep, it appears.

i think overall i need to take a step back this week, stop trying to hold the world up, and just plod along.

nobody is going to die if i take a step back i guess.

thanks

I have no trouble thinking about what I want to think about and not thinking about what I don't want to think about in most times. The same goes for my feelings, I choose how I feel about most things.

I never have trouble sleeping because I am thinking about something.

I determine what I am attentive to whenever there is no emergent immediacy I must attend to.


I haven't always understood myself as well, there was a journey.


Peace,

kowalski

I had ups and down in my work. Saying that i had gleaming reports and progress quite well compare to my colleagues, which make them jealous at times. What i found work best for me is taking time away from work and go on a holiday. While there spend your time in sight seeing and reading self improvement.

Dude I really do sympathise as I have had a similar problem of late. I used to be like K, not thinking about work or taking it home but after a couple of personal problems at home and a change in management and workload it gradually crept up on me.

If you really are having trouble sleeping and living normally, go to your doc's. They don't necessarily have to give you medication but if you are having trouble they suggest that you self-certificate yourself for a week and then they'll certify you for and extra week or more if needed. During this time work are not allowed to contact you and must allow you to recover.

Also make an appointment with your HR manager and check policies regarding health and support. Talk to them about the problems of stress, workload and the fact that you have had to visit your GP. If they have policies they must stick to them (unless there are exceptional grounds like assaulting your MD) and if they have any regards for legality and morality they will normally go above and beyond their policy to help you. This may include giving you time off, reassessing your line-management and/or workload, phasing you back into work and at the very least having an occupational health advisor assess you and your position.

This is nothing to be ashamed or upset about. I work with a chap who encouraged me to do the above because i was becoming depressed and my boss didn't listen and piled more on. He is 1 of the nicest guys I know but due to having essentially a mental breakdown due to stress and reacting to late, he is now a shell of his former self. He was a stacked, extroverted ex-para who has turned into a timid, nervous guy who can barely complete a press-up. Scary stuff.

I think like K said, you have to talk to the right people before it's too late.

Can you give us some examples?

I have to go out, but wanted to reply to reply briefly before I do.

I thought one or two of your recent posts seemed out of character for you, makes sense now. I don't know how bad it has got for you, but will offer what I have learned.

The short answer to your question is yes, I have been there. It crept up on me, snapping at people and not remembering it, eating crap to keep my state high enough, losing sleep. It made me quite ill last year. For me, I did everything myself because I felt those around me were incompetent, which is true, but it's not worth your health. I felt I had to control all the variables and that all kinds of other things hinged on the work stuff, making the load on my shoulders unbearable. I was also hideously competitive and money driven, trying to please all my clients even when they were being ridiculous, because it felt like everything hinged on every little thing.

Talk to people like the guys suggested above. Maybe get some therapy to work out what you do and why, so you can manage yourself like K suggested. Obviously, drop the stimulants from your diet, like caffeine, sugar and wheat, as being hyper and under stress are not good bed fellows.

This book is an interesting read: When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection: Amazon.co.uk: Gabor Mate: Books

Like I said, I don't know if this is a momentary blip (in which case my post may be a bit over the top for you, I just related to it) or maybe you are in too deep. Either way your body is talking to you so take it seriously fella.

PS

Being able to say NO is the answer
Especially in this recession hit country, people are feeling pressured to take on anything that is thrown at them - people are made redundant so their job is squeezed ontop of somone else.
somtimes youve got to just be able to stand up and say NO i cant do that.
nothing wrong with saying you are struggeling it doesnt make you less of a man or crap at your job.

Also having been through heavy bouts of depression, anxeity and stress including work.
ive developed good ways of managing it

Set yourself time aside to relax at night --
i run a hot bath and get in there with a book. (i never used to read but its a fantastic way of relaxing your mind)
taking HTP in the evening when you feel stressed after work is a fantastic way of calming you down

its so nice to read so many supportive posts in one thread. if i could buy you all a beer i would.

it has been eye opening for me. and i completely agree it just creeps up.

the basic of it was work coming my way. and after moving the layers you see that it hasnt been done properly by the people who put the work in.
i also feel i have the whole helpdesk (it equipment reseller) on my shoulders as i do not rate my colleagues.
and to add to it the boss placing his stress on me by talking to me like spit on his shoe.

its crazy... first time ever i lost sleep.

just to conclude. the whole company has been under stress at the potential of a massive order. the md has been stressed. and lets just say he doesnt handle it well.

I slept like a baby last night. And overall feel fantastic now .

Thanks for your input guys.