Can this article be moved forward?!

I wasn't too impressed with the tone of it recently (tom and sin aside). Tact is important in debate - this is not a place for public ridicule etc ("school boy error etc).

Also, there is another reason why there could be average (mean) differences - they reflect the inevitable difference between the sample and population mean (you generally never measure the last one).

Input welcome.

For me the debate can only be moved forward if we start to take what has gone before and form some at least initial and tentative conclusions.

One of which is whether we can agree that self-disclosure is untrustworthy in this field. Although the sample is not the population we know that a sufficient sample size is representative. It has been shown repeatedly that if we measure the heights of a small group of people and calculate the standard deviation of the group this will match the standard deviation of the population. A massive number of surveys on number of sexual partners have been performed over the years all with the same impossible 'men have significantly more sexual partners than women' outcome. We really need to put this part of the discussion to bed.

For my part I think I feel that infidelity is much less widespread than I had felt it would turn out to be before this discussion began.

With these two points agreed we can get to the hard nut of the argument, which may be too tough to crack. This being: if you are trully awesome and focused, how irresistible are you?

What percentage of the population are genuinely moral, and strong enough with it, to stick with their prior resolution of fidelity when faced with such an individual?


Peace,

kowalski

Cool, lets get this back on track. This is like the UN of forum posts...

Lets tentatively agree, based on discussions before and social pressure acting in different ways on disclosure.


Can you elaborate on your thinking here?...



This is a tough one. Circumstance and logistics are always a factor, and maybe my game has never been 100% watertight. hmmm....

I think even the best guys at this still fuck up sometimes. Note mystery’s first 5 warm-up sets. Tyler not ‘being in state’ etc. I do it sometimes too. I think we overestimate how good people are. We also underestimate the logistical problems that might not be able to be overcome.


Crikey, this is a tough nut. Fuck!

Hmmm… Perhaps there is some research on when and if people 'cheat' in other circumstances (game theory ?).

My understanding of it is below.
in a non-sexual game theory context, for a one-off interaction (in a social vacuum, with no reputation worries):
People cheat, get the benefit, because they will never see the person again.

Now, add reputation to the model:
People don't cheat as readily - because even if they will never see the person again, their reputation could be ruined. In a social world (and given our species' social evolutionary history) it is incredibly important.

Also, for perhaps us this is a moral issue. But for many people I don’t think it is – I think they don’t cheat because they risk loosing something (the relationship they have invested in). Sure, this might change if the chance of being caught is low, but you never know… Also, the conscience might fuck things up if you do it anyway. I can’t imagine cheating on a monogamous LTR without telling her. If I did, I’d expect her to split up with me.

Thoughts welcome.

Anthony

I think this has been mentioned before in this thread but my personal experience recently points to me that infidelity in a relationship/marriage partly stems from the fact that women arent satisfied completely with their partners. Reasons: "he is boring", " we dont go out anymore", "we havent had sex for months", "the kids seem to take most of out time", "we are like brother and sister now", "he doesnt compliment me anymore", "he is not making any effort with me" etc etc.

Can we then partly blame the men for the cause of infidelity in a LTR?