n. The tendency to believe that other people are paying closer attention to one's appearance and behavior than they really are.


Imagine if you will, you have just entered the trendiest most hippest joints in town. You are feeling good, great in fact.
This is of course due to the brand spanking new white cotton shirt you bought earlier today. It was 90 english pounds, so you know its good! You breeze through the entrance and head straight to the bar. You notice in seconds there are females everywhere, real human females (your favourite type!). You catch the eye of the bartender and order a drink, a Jack Daniel’s and coke, yes, that’s what REAL men drink.

The bartender hands you your icy cold beverage, you about turn and see a small group of foxy vixens sat at a small table. “Approach as soon as you see you target” that’s what they say on the forums after all. You take a deep breath and stride towards them, the brunette has locked eye contact with you, she’s smiling (this is going great!). Then…. Diaster .

The non-grip on you loafers has slipped on the imitation wood-decking floor. Your legs get confused, gravity twists and you go flying arse over tit. In the madness, your seven pound drink evacuates the glass and finds a new home on your shirt. And with that time stops, the world stops spinning on its axis and you die inside.

How does that make you feel exactly?

After all, you are the most important person in the world. In fact scrap that, the most important person in the universe! But the truth is, what seemed like a major life changing cringe worthy event to you, was actually a very small event for everyone who witnessed it. Sure, they may have laughed for a moment, but seconds letter, they will be back in there own worlds.

This is the spotlight effect.

So called because its easy to walk around life imagining your centre stage, that everybody is paying attention to you, like there’s a spot light on you. Egoic thinking is a bitch.

Psychologists at Cornell university studying the phenomena conducted an experiment, involving, who other than Barry Manilow? Well basically they took 109 students and had them enter a room with their peers wearing a t-shirt with Barry Manilow on. Not the coolest t-shirt to be sporting. The students predictably felt self-conscious about the shirt and after spending only minutes in the room estimated at least half of their peers had noticed or said something mocking about the shirt. Interestingly, the researchers found. On average, less than a quarter of the people in the room had noticed anything. Other experiments using T-shirts (Mr.Manilow ones) have found that people exaggerate by up to six times the percentage of observers who notice.


Sooooo, next time your out and trip over, spill a drink or have a Freudian slip of the tongue, take a moment to look around. I can guarantee the vast majority of people around you either don’t notice or don’t care. This is simple because they have more important things to think about, like themselves.

Oh, and I would go out wearing a Barry Manilow T-shirt any day.

Noobs,

This is the truth. No-one is watching you.


Peace,

kowalski

walking through town the other day! nice sunny day, seated 3 set, felt the nervous sick feeling I get.. when I know I'm going in.....

opened - Almost everybody who was sat within the area turned and listened to what I had to say.... lol. (I use canned openers In day game anyone's view on this welcome please)

set opened well, had some great laff's awesome.

I am getting to a point where I dont care what other people think when I open, so I guess this is a good thing..

namaste sinstyle

You would be correct in that assumption sir!

I like it... I tend to use stupid things like that as openers if it happens... I love looking stupid, I don't no why...

I was talking to hustler about this on Saturday night. He was saying about, doesn't it look odd us lot going into a group, talking a while and then going into another group. At which point i said, no one is paying any attention to us and proceeded to jump up and down, wave my hands and scream to prove the point... and low and behold.. NO ONE payed a blind bit of attention to me :-)

Check Day 3 in The Rules Of th Game.... Adopt the Caveman Hygiene method
Basically it says dont wash, dont shave.
Chances are no one will notice - most people are to concerned with the way they look, and if they do notice you can always say your tryin to win a bet or participating in a highly compensated study for the deodorant industry.

Is that a challenge?

I rarely shave, and often go days without washing when I am not making it home at nights. Plus, a girl I'm hitting really likes it.


Peace,

kowalski

Word! You'd be susprised how many girls are into it. To quote a chick I am with at the moment "I like you to smell like a man".

I've taken to not fully shaving and just trimming and the type of girls I'm after (student, girl next door indie types) like it more than clean shaven.
The only thing I worry about now is that my hair is too short after I got it cut.
One girl I'm seeing who was an ex didn't used to like it but now she says she does and she likes it even more when I go down on her.