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Default How am I a natural..... - 24-04-2011, 01:47 PM

nat·u·ral/ˈnaCHərəl/
Noun: A person regarded as having an innate gift or talent for a particular task or activity.

How do we achieve this?

It's all well and good telling people to be natural and in my view a lot better than the alternatives. However, the biggest question I'm asked and ask myself is, 'How is natural going to help? I've been doing that all my life and isn't working!'

As a man who is striving towards this I have found the two biggest factors that help are:

1) Lifestyle - Develop a lifestyle that you enjoy and our positive about. You will then be a positive person who girls enjoy being around. You are natural and being yourself.

2) Trial and Error - just keep going! Just chat to girls. Find out what works for you and what doesn't. After time things that used to a problem will come naturally as you go through unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence.

Be interested in others views......
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Default 24-04-2011, 01:55 PM

Great post and wise words! I think through trial and error, mixed with determination, you can become natural at what you want.
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Default 24-04-2011, 02:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kowalski
The term natural is a bit confusing. To be naturally awesome, (where natural is defined as produced by nature) say at football for example. You would have to be able to, having never even seen a football before, be skilled enough to play for Manchester United in the Champions League Final.

So in that sense no-one is a natural, at anything. Everyone who is good at something has learned it, either consciously or unconsciously through nurture not nature. Is there any difference between learning something consciously or unconsciously? If your skill level is the same, mostly no. Except the guy who learned something unconsciously may not always be able to replicate it as he may not know how he does what he does.

People get confused because in The Game Strauss uses the term to refer to someone who has learned to be good unconsciously. This doesn't fit the above definition of the term natural. But, natural has another meaning.

Nowadays most people in the community use the term natural to refer to someone who behaves authentically and improvises, rather than someone who has learned to be good unconsciously.

Natural (adj.) Genuine or spontaneous.

Naturals in this sense are those whose behaviours are genuine or spontaneous.

So, if you are being genuine and spontaneous then, by definition, you are a natural. Irrespective of how you learned to be good.

Peace,

kowalski


Be authentic
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Default 25-04-2011, 12:06 AM

Interesting post.

So to take mine a step further how are other people on here working towards being genuine and spontaneous? Not as easy as it sounds with all the external factors going on, not to mention one's own ego and insecurities to deal with too!

I am in the same position as before, trying to live a life I want to lead and trial and error.
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Default 25-04-2011, 06:56 PM

K's post reminds me of the four Four stages of competence.

Before reading the game I was unconsciously incompetent at approaching, flirting closing with women.

After reading it I became consciously incompetent. I'm still at that stage but working towards becoming consciously competent.

I know people who are unconscious competent at being social and attracting women, K's right it doesn't matter how they got there it’s the fact they arrived.

I know if I can get to being unconscious competent with being social as I've already done this in other areas of my life such as work and even learning to drive a car. I just need to take things at my own pace. I also want to get out and meet some more board members soon.

Mark
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Default 25-04-2011, 07:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by markuk View Post

K's right it doesn't matter how they got there it’s the fact they arrived.

Mark
It matters to me how they got there! That's why I started the post. I want to arrive lol.

You're London based right? Come join us next weekend....
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Default 25-04-2011, 08:39 PM

I'll send you a pm
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Default 25-04-2011, 09:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snake Eyes View Post
It matters to me how they got there! That's why I started the post. I want to arrive lol.

You're London based right? Come join us next weekend....
When you start off to learn from A-Z you learn a whole lot about B-Y.


Roody
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