Sitting at the office waiting for this computer to grind its way through yet another simulation, I took some time and read a few posts on this forum. It started me thinking about how I used to try and get girls. I cant help but laugh at myself, dispute knowing the sad desperation I felt back then. Even when women where practically throwing themselves at me on the rare occasion. I still failed.

The first girl that comes to mind is a girl I met online. Lets call her Heartless Bitch. Now HB was on some random chat room. I started up a conversion and it seemed that we had enough in common to continue chatting. As time passed we ended sharing more personal information. I learnt that her current boy friend had some violent tendencies. Being genuinely concerned for HB I advised her that she should leave him. She did about 2 weeks later.

She seemed a more happy person and a grateful one having someone she could confide in. Also not having someone who hits her in her life is a big plus. Some more time passed and she suggested that we should meet. I agreed.

Seeing her for the first time the following day relieved that she was a short yet rather cute girl. Her hair was medium long and her figure was a great balance between thin and meaty in all the right places. I was quite attracted to her. I was rather pleased that she got to know who I am online first. This means I stood a chance despite my social oddness. Or so I thought.

I thought we where getting along well. Although looking back I now see that she was a little stand offish. I was to stupid back then to know. She invited me to a movie night she was having with a girlfriend of hers the following evening. I thought this was great. We where getting along so well that she even wants me to meet her friends. I was realy pumped about how well this was going.

The next evening came. I was so happy I was humming to myself unknowingly most of the morning. Went and got myself a hair cut. Ironed my best shirt. I was looking quite spiffy if I do say so myself. I was wondering if I should pickup some flowers or not? Anyway.

So I arrived at HB`s friends house. There was popcorn in a large bowl on the coffee table beside a big couch. I massive TV by the standards of 10 years ago. The house clearly belonged to a rich person. It turns out that HB`s friend was house sitting.

As the evening progressed HB kept trying to steer the conversation towards up coming events regarding her friend. Eventually it came out that her friend will be moving house soon. .... pause ..... I think we all know where this is heading dont we ..... un-pause ..... I was happy to volunteer after all I had a car and was interested in the girl who just put her arm around me after I agreed to help.

Well 8 hours of back breaking labour and alot of money spent on fuel for the car a week later resulted in a complete communications break from HB. Needless to say I was crushed. A girl that I spend about 3 months getting to know would just throw me away a few hours after getting what she wants out of me.

Man I have quite a few more of these stories. But it was moments like this that made it very hard for me to meet women. I guess I was just unlucky.

I am sure I cant be the only one with stories like this. If you have one please let me know that I was not alone.

Cheers.

Nah you never alone mate. I like your story because I can relate. About three years ago, after just splitting up with my wife, I was looking for a room to rent before I could move in to my new flat. I saw an advert placed on a local paper, and texted this woman about it. She texted back but the room had already been taken.

Anyway, that initial text turn into a few more texts and into a few more flirty texts in the next few days. She MMS me a picture of her and she was just the ideal woman; short blonde hair, gorgeous face and with a figure to match. Anyway, we arranged to meet up for dinner and the evening went well. Had a lot in common, talked for ages etc. I thought she was well into me. A week later, took her to see Scissor Sister's in concert. Dropped her home and went for a kiss, lasted a few seconds before she pulled herself away. Didnt think much of it.

The week after went out with a group of mixed friends and took her along. The rest of the evening, she was flirting with one of my friends. As much as my friend tried to ignore her, she didnt stop. Kissing him, sitting on his lap until he left. And like a vulture, she went to another one of my friends. I felt so so small then. Left her there and then to find her own way home. Texted her the next day, saying she was out of order and never heard from her since. I am ashamed to admit this but probably spent and lent a few hundred quid on her. Bitch!!!

Anyway, you live and learn....!

I havent had bad experiences like you guys have. But what i would say is (and im also guilty of this) that we invest our emotions way to early and we cant see beyond getting our dicks in some how.

What actually is happening is they can see you're lost, and abuse it. Not all girls are like this though but girls are conniving little cunts so keep your emotions on one side until you feel shes worth that investment. I've learnt this the hard way and i've been the rebound/friend zoned guy (details in "the girl that got me down" thread).

Point being, have fun, dont get attached and invest emtotional feelings until you feel shes worth it. NEVER give her value until she has earnt it.

Peace
Y45

Im new and can definately relate to this. Only the other week I met a girl on a night out, flirted like mad, walked to hers, kissed her on the doorstep, desperately tried to blag my way in but she wouldnt have none of it. We spent the next day together, I thought things were going well, took her out for a meal and a movie (came to £80 altogether) later in the week, tried to arrange to meet up again but she always had some excuse. In the end I just text her and said if you wanna hang out again text me.

So the moral of the story.....

Make your intentions clear from the start
Invest your money/time/praise in her as a reward for giving you what you want AFTERWARDS.

I think ive learned to be ruthless and efficient
Every intereaction i weigh up the amount of effort required to achieve the reward i want.
If it isnt worth it i bail, often before the interaction has even started.

You always get sucked it at some point no matter how good you are.

We are talking about our past experience here dude. Not what we know now. Why dont you share about how you've learned to be "ruthless and efficient", rather than making a statement that you seem to know it all when it comes to women....!

My 'moment of shame' is pretty deep and happened 5 years ago when I lived in Manchester. Be prepared for a long read....

Started going out with a girl from work who had already shagged one of the guys she worked with.

When we started going out she was still living with her ex-boyfriend for the first few weeks.

She then found out she was pregnant, but wouldn't actually tell me - I had to guess for myself. I s**t my pants as I've never been in that situation before.

She then goes cold on me for a couple of weeks, when I do get through to her I find out that she went to the hospital with her ex. She then has a go at me, and says that she 'doesn't want to speak to anyone with a penis'.

She never directly told me she was pregnant, but did confirm it when she said she was going to the clinic to have a 'procedure'.

Something at the time didn't quite add up though - not knowing much about morning sickness, I thought it happens as soon as the woman gets pregnant. It doesn't, as I found out later.

We drift apart, then get back together after a couple of weeks. She told me she loved me, I said the same - the first girl I'd ever said that to. Things were good.

The turning point came when I was DJing in a club and she came down with some work people. She then starts grinding with guys right in front of the DJ booth - I'm like WTF. Then, near the end of the night, a girl I hadn't seen in ages comes up to me and gives me a hug. She storms out of the club and back to the hotel.

When my shift finishes, I head back and we have an argument, where I am justifying MY actions

Kissed and made up. Later on, my housemate phones me. He hated her. He says he saw what happened, and that I should have 'laid the smackdown on her'. She was right next to me when he said this. Cue the beginning of the end of the relationship.

She broke it off after I refused to choose her over my flatmate (who I've known for 16 years). The first and last non-AFC thing I did in that relationship.

The sting in the tail was yet to come.

Whilst at work talking to my colleague who knew her well, she said I was better rid. Turns out she had still been sleeping with her ex in the early stages of our relationship, and had also slept with ANOTHER guy within work. It was like one of those movie moments when the pieces suddenly start falling into place - up to that point I always wondered why she went to her hospital with her ex instead of me. I felt sick to my stomach that day.

After that experience a part of me became a little colder, and I made to promise to myself to NEVER end up in that kind of situation again.

But I guess as that old saying goes, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

So the moral of this story? Always have the upper hand (but I guess most of you know this already )

Have had a fair few girls fuck me off and get with other people because I carry on being too indifferent and expected them to keep chasing me and didn't lead enough. I can think of three times that I've got with girls I like and not pushed to the relationship/sex stage too see them fuck someone else within under a week, one on my sofa, a friend and a guest at the hotel we both worked at. The first girl I ever really fell for dumped me for being too nice, since then I've always held back from coming across forward or needy. Girls can be bitches. I now see the difference between being forward and being needy, before I assumed they were the same thing.

Here is mine, short and sweet but as pathetic as they come......

Me (opener on dance floor) - 'Can I get you a drink'
Her - 'Yeah, Vodka Orange please'
Me - [queue up at bar for 5 to 10 mins, return with drink for the girl]
Her - Thanks

End of Interaction!


At the time I couldn't work out what I had done wrong.