how do i go from not being able to approach girls to approaching all the time?? - Page 2 - Pick-up Artist Forum

Knave · 12-03-2011, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daleinthedark

One thing that I found helped get me over AA was reading Neil Strauss' "Rules of The Game" and getting out there and completing the tasks in it. Most of it is spoon fed baby steps but its a really simple way of getting over that initial anxiety and improving your confidence...

Excellent advice, pretty much what I advised but far better it covers a 30 day plan

niknak · 12-03-2011, 04:29 PM

I had a really hard time getting going in this, and whilst I haven't got it totally handled I was probably in a similar place you were, as I'm sure a lot of guys have been.

Basically, and I can't stress this enough - you are building it up too much. Before actually getting out and doing approaches I had built it up too much in my head, I imagined either instant massive success with a few lines or dramatic failure with everyone looking, but the reality of it is much more mundane than you are probably imagining:

Examples:

You may open a set standing next to you in a bar with an opinion opener. They'll give you a one word answer then turn around and start talking to each other again.

You open another set of girls with a compliment and they say, quite simply 'We're taken'.

As you are walking past a girl you stop and say 'I like your hair, you remind me of Rhianna.' She smiles and laughs, but you can't think of anything else so simply say 'well enjoy your evening' then leave.

This is the reality of where you're probably going to be, and as you can see, it's pretty mundane!!

My advice to start out and get comfortable, and this comes from someone with initially VERY bad AA:

Go to a bar with lots of people, so that you're positioned right next to sets (thus opening is very simple and v natural) and just ask them something e.g:

'Hey guys *try to smile!*, quick question for you, can you remember the name of the band Justin Timberlake used to be in?'

Then simply thank them and leave. If they ask why you can just say 'I've got a bet with my friend' or something.

Of course this isn't 'game', but it gets you comfortable going into sets.

If I were you, I would forget all notions of 'game' until you've opened at least 5-10 sets this way.

niknak · 12-03-2011, 04:31 PM

Oh, and a note, if you suffer from AA you will have to man up at some point. 'Tell that little voice in your head 'man up bitch' then go out and just do it! Trust me you'll be very proud of yourself for doing so.