Okay, so while I know that girls flaking is part and parcel of the territory and they do so for a myriad of reasons - including the kicker - she's just not that into me.

I'd still be interested to know if anyone can see some obvious flaws in how I acted.

Got this hot girls number in a club last week, felt good vibes - talked for maybe 30/40 mins about various stuff. Including how we would have to have to lie about where we met (we were in a cheesy nightclub) so we role played about our eyes meeting in crowded restaurant etc. Then at one point her friend came over and whispered in her ear, when I asked what it was about she replied that her friend had said how hot I was!
Maybe I should have escalated more?? there was lots of kino but no kiss close and she eventually had to go off to find her friend who'd disappeared.

So the next evening the text game starts and it played out like this, with her responses within a couple of minutes for every text I sent:

Me: Just seen you on the telly. Kent is not in South London! (we'd talked about how she looks like Amy from The Only Way is Essex)
Her: Ha ha, not too smart am I
Me: Proper divvy. Good spray tan though
Her: Haven't got a clue about geography but I do a mean spray tan. ha ha

I reply to this the next evening with:

Me: Might have to book myself in for one then.
Her: What do you want, the Amy Childs one
Me: I wanna be so orange you can see me from outer space!
Her: Ha ha no problem.

I text back a couple of hours later with:

Me: Nice one, want to make sure I'm looking my best for our date
Her: Well of course ha ha. Have you seen Friends where his spray tan goes wrong?
Me: So funny, or the one where he wears leather trousers and they overheat. Mine have built in ventilation
Her: Ha ha... I'm an 8! Ha ha and the one wear his teeth glow in the dark... too funny
Me: Ross is a legend. I'm on a bus right now, but will give you a call tomorrow about meeting up.
Her: Cool, talk to you tomorrow hun.

Called her the following day, no answer - leave a message along the lines of just ringing for a chat, you're probably out spray tanning or vajazzeling. I'm off to the gym for a couple of hours, might try you again later on.

Called later on that night, no answer. I didn't leave a message.

And that's it, two days down the line she's not made any attempt to get in touch and neither have I.
Won't beat myself up about it and will be back out this weekend, but for future reference all advice would be appreciated - because one minute I'm thinking this is on, the next I'm thinking what the hell went wrong!

Forget about her, i would just fire one last txt off at her saying
'Drop me a txt if your interested in hooking up, otherwise ciao x'
cant do any harm plus it conveys that you are officially disowning her

Thats a fucker dude - she was definitely into you that night, and I'm sure that it was only because of her friends dragging her away that you didn't get to at least k-close her in the end.

As you say, there are myriad reasons: she could already be in a relationship, but because she was into you, didn't tell you. Or a 101 other reasons...

I actually think that most people have become totally socially retarded, and that is 99.9% of the time the reason for them flaking: I think for some girls the idea of going out on a "date" where it's just her and you, totally freaks them out. Hell, even an unexpected phone call can freak them the fuck out!!!

The only way to beat this is to build comfort.
Done in your first interactions by isolating, escalating, venue changing etc.
Through phone calls (pre-arranged, to the minute)
Arranging a more disarming meet-up (eg, you and your friends meet her and her friends)

In this case specifically, at this stage, I think Refl3x is right.
And if it still flakes, then fuck it: we'll find ourselves some cute rock-chicks tomorrow night!

Much love,

Craigus

Totally agree with Craigus, I feel like the internet has given everybody a nice and safe social bubble, where they never have to talk to anyone or do anything other than stare at google bored out their mind. (and facebook of course).

Seems like phone calls are a thing of the past these days, unless its an uber quick call to find out something.

Exactly dude - in my last LTR, it took about four weeks into the relationship before she would talk to me on the phone, and about another month of pre-arranged calls, before she would readily answer my spontaneous calls.

Granted, I was a chode at the time, but still - it serves as a reminder that communication is breaking down completely.

To go a bit deeper here, there is a prevailing theory from historians that key to the downfall of history's major civilisations (Roman, Ottaman, Egyptian etc.) was a breakdown of the social construct: people became hermits (ringing any bells?)

... I read that in an article ages ago actually, cant remember too much about it other than the parallels that it drew to our civilisation and the changes to the way that we socialise (ie internet).

Kowalskipedia will probably know more! lol

Much love,

Craigus

this has just made me think, the reason that I ALWAYS get flakes is the comfort issue, I need to do more 'lets go outside for a smoke and talk about our childhood dreams' stuff because i think they never feel like they know me when I text them the next day. I always get into kissing and dancing and drinking and forget to do enough prepping them for the long term.

That's the right attitude mate, don't beat yourself about it, as people said before, it's nothing that you did wrong, it's just one of those things, she could be busy, imature, have a bf, 'social retarded' or who cares.

I wouldn't delete the no though, you can always follow it up later with the fun kicker 'how come we haven't had sex yet'

I pulled some girl I'd sent that to months later. I shat myself when I remembered but it turned out good and she was pleased to see me and that I remembered her.

this is my problem with calling! if she has an issue with talkin on the phone! she wont answer, she also wont mention the issue she has!!

so whilst u wanna be PUA and call her, she is comfortable texting

so she doesnt answer, then u keep callin & textin ... she thinks!! wow this is heavy THEN UR THE SAME OLD STALKER!!

if your gonna call!!! text at about 9pm saying U AWAKE!!!???

then if they reply... call them!

calling at random without warning is not appropriate for someone u dont know!

especially with low confidence

Ive said to do this loads of times on here-- when will people learn.
If somone rings me totally out the blue i often wont answer