Plenty of fish - Page 5 - Pick-up Artist Forum

Refl3x · 02-06-2011, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RLAJay

Hmm...

I understand where you're coming from here Twisted but think your argument needs more depth.

Would you not say that a dating site is merely another venue for people to meet one another, what exactly makes a venue a poor place for two people to meet originally. What actually makes it worse than meeting someone in a night club for example or meeting someone in a coffee shop, on the street or in a hotel lobby.

The example you've given isn't just indicative of the behaviour many girls exhibit on dating sites, they exhibit this behaviour everywhere. They are usually characterised as fairly low self esteem (even if they pretend otherwise) and just looking for validation and love, this leads them to doing things like giving a man everything he wants very quickly because she just wants him to like her. As you rightly put it though, it usually makes a guy lose respect for her, he hasn't had to work for it at all, he sees her as easy. The net effect is that he sees her as many would put it "low value" because we automatically label that which is hard to get as that which must have high value.

So, while there may be a correlation between this behaviour and dating sites I'm not sure it's correct to say it is also the causation. I would hypothesise that because it's a dating site - a venue most people turn to only when they're starting to get desperate(or just want sex) - it is populated by those with lower self esteems that exhibit this behaviour more frequently than those you might find elsewhere.

I'm not saying this is correct, I merely think this needs a more in depth look before conclusions can be drawn.

Jay let me nail that one down for you
This conversation i funnily enough had for the 30th time today with a girl im hooking up with.

ok -- the ultimate issue is CHOICE - a hot girl gets 20 + messages a day
i send hot girl a message--she digs it and we chat, exhcnage numbers and arrange a date for the weekend 5 days away -- in that time before the date she has recieved 100 messages, chances are there will be a good 15 guys in that she replies too and maybe 5 she screens down to being date worthy

date night
we hook up-- me being me dosent mess about, i get back to hers and nail her, make her cum/squirt whatever.
she thinls to herself later --"hmm hes nice i like him, wouldnt mind seeing him again boyfriend potential there."

so she has some more dates with guys one of them is UBER hot guy-- brad pit lookalike (she wonders how he could ever fancy her--there must be a catch)
they have an amazing night and she is smitten with him

so back to me-- i get no responce when i txt her because she is well into brad pit guy -- so because i am also getting lots of messages from girls ive lined up a few more dates and move on.

Brad pit lookalike guy is actually too good to be true -- he is married and tells his wife he is out with the lads and drives to this girls town, after a few weeks she finds this out and thats it---- in that time I have moved on thinking she is not interested and its too late to resurrect that first date we had that could have been a relationship.

other points are-- sending online messags takes no balls --everoyne can do it!
talking to a chick in a club is much more difficult so less action for girls
online creates a fantasy world--you enver truly know what somone is like til you meet them
meeting in a bar/pub/supermarket tends to dispell a fantasy quickly

now ive forgot the rest of my point so you can comment on that

Tw1sted · 02-06-2011, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RLAJay

Would you not say that a dating site is merely another venue for people to meet one another, what exactly makes a venue a poor place for two people to meet originally. What actually makes it worse than meeting someone in a night club for example or meeting someone in a coffee shop, on the street or in a hotel lobby.

It is very different from meeting at a venue because you don't actually meet the girl. None of the subtle communication that is normally done when meeting someone takes place as you are sending notes to eachother on a screen. It's totally fucked.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RLAJay

The example you've given isn't just indicative of the behaviour many girls exhibit on dating sites, they exhibit this behaviour everywhere. They are usually characterised as fairly low self esteem (even if they pretend otherwise) and just looking for validation and love, this leads them to doing things like giving a man everything he wants very quickly because she just wants him to like her.

You actually answered that yourself in your next paragraph:

Quote:

So, while there may be a correlation between this behaviour and dating sites I'm not sure it's correct to say it is also the causation. I would hypothesise that because it's a dating site - a venue most people turn to only when they're starting to get desperate(or just want sex) - it is populated by those with lower self esteems that exhibit this behaviour more frequently than those you might find elsewhere.

Darood · 04-06-2011, 02:08 PM

Went on plenty of fish last night and did the whole telling them off for not even writing a bio..

I think it worked since I've just been invited over for some mid afternoon sex

sapphire · 04-06-2011, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tw1sted

Here's why I'm fundementally against this sort of service:

For me, PUA is about building my confidence and social skills to the highest level. It's about personal development.

Dating sites simply hook people up, who get drunk, have sex and part company. Not only does this fail to advance you as a person, I believe it may actually distort peoples perception of dating and their beliefs.

Its just an alternative way of making initial contact, from "day 2" onwards its no different.

And ... are you seriously trying to tell me that a girl is less at risk from meeting wierdos when drunk in a club than on the internet ?? - a stranger is a stranger no matter how first contact occurs.

Its all about using online dating in the right way. You effectively get to practice all of the post-approach stuff before your approach skills are fully developed. That way you can actually end up approaching with the confidence that, should the approach go well, your not going to flounder after that.

nova · 04-06-2011, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sapphire

are you seriously trying to tell me that a girl is less at risk from meeting wierdos when drunk in a club than on the internet ?? - a stranger is a stranger no matter how first contact occurs.

Let's face it though. In the club/street/normal situation you can select a girl you not only like the look of in the flesh, but one who you get on with. This is less likely as you edge your way towards that first meeting in real life.

sapphire · 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Refl3x

Jay let me nail that one down for you
date night
we hook up-- me being me dosent mess about, i get back to hers and nail her, make her cum/squirt whatever.
she thinls to herself later --"hmm hes nice i like him, wouldnt mind seeing him again boyfriend potential there."

so she has some more dates with guys one of them is UBER hot guy-- brad pit lookalike (she wonders how he could ever fancy her--there must be a catch)
they have an amazing night and she is smitten with him

so back to me-- i get no responce when i txt her because she is well into brad pit guy -- so because i am also getting lots of messages from girls ive lined up a few more dates and move on.

Brad pit lookalike guy is actually too good to be true -- he is married and tells his wife he is out with the lads and drives to this girls town, after a few weeks she finds this out and thats it---- in that time I have moved on thinking she is not interested and its too late to resurrect that first date we had that could have been a relationship.

Having met 50+ (numbers not age lol) women from dating sites my experience has been very different to yours ....

Without fail they will cease all other dating activity once we've agreed to see each other again after first date (which is about 60% of the time). If anything they seem relieved that they have "found someone" and so don't have to plough through hundreds of messages anymore. The vast majority made it clear they were up for an LTR after 2nd or 3rd date

Could be differences in demographic - my target zone is mid 30s career women, or style - I never shag on first date.

Also youve told us how fit you are many times and again in my experience women dont "trade up" guys based on looks alone - they set a baseline and so long as your above that your fine so long as your competition doesn't have something else very compelling to offer ( or you have a particular deficiency ...).

Its possible that the girls are simply suffering buyers remorse - they didn't go to meet you consciously intending to shag on first date, and despite getting a good seeing to, they had to bin you off in order to avoid cognitive dissonance.

Again IME demonstrating to a girl that you need sex from her less than she needs it from you is about the most powerful seduction thing you possibly do. Pushing for first date shags denies you the opportunity to play this card.

Refl3x · 05-06-2011, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sapphire

my target zone is mid 30s career women, or style - I never shag on first date.

Same - ive dated doctors, all sorts

Quote:

Also youve told us how fit you are many times and again in my experience women dont "trade up" guys based on looks alone

Ive never said that

Quote:

Its possible that the girls are simply suffering buyers remorse - they didn't go to meet you consciously intending to shag on first date, and despite getting a good seeing to, they had to bin you off in order to avoid cognitive dissonance.

Very good point -- i am ruthless and waste no time and would say 85% of my first dates were fucked on the same night
and i have been tossing the above notiion round in my head

Quote:

Again IME demonstrating to a girl that you need sex from her less than she needs it from you is about the most powerful seduction thing you possibly do. Pushing for first date shags denies you the opportunity to play this card.

Very good point
again somthing ive been thinking about which i will try

Tw1sted · 05-06-2011, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sapphire

And ... are you seriously trying to tell me that a girl is less at risk from meeting wierdos when drunk in a club than on the internet ?? - a stranger is a stranger no matter how first contact occurs.

Indeed. I am not saying that. I'd say each have the fair share of weirdos. The risk comes with taking a guy to bed within hours of meeting him. Getting sexual with a stranger is where the risk lies.

Maxemillion · 05-06-2011, 11:17 AM

I think you can size them up better irl than pof. irl there are thousands of tiny behaviours - intent and reaction signals between the two of you. you can feel the other person's sexual interest and its all being recorded in the girl's mind and linked to your physical self. Internet interaction links any feelings she has to a facsimile of you, an imagined estimation of what ur like. When u meet in real life u have to work to retrigger these previous interaction memories and anchor them to urself due to lack of recognition. Not that everyone isnt an imagined estimation based on previous evidence to everyone else anyway, they absolutely are, but physicality is important to reproductive processes.