I had a chat with my mate yesterday. and he said somethin to me which really struck home.

i was wondering if anyone else can give anything similar

"One of the most attractive traits in a person is the ability to laugh & make fun at themselves"

This to me is THE MOST important trait in a girl or friend to me.

cant stand people who take themselves to seriously.

ive noticed this aswell, people love it when you can take the mickey out of yourself.

also i think this could be a good technique,

Me: takes mickey out of myself
girl: agrees
Me: your not supposed to agree, your such a meanie!

what do you think?

That's because its an alpha trait and is directly linked to our old favourite...yes...confidence. Strangely women love it, beats me???

There is a line you must never cross and that's putting yourself down.

why?? why must u never do this, i do it all the time ... if im wearin a tshirt thats maybe a bit tight, ill say WOW, look at that bell over there thinks hes me with a tight tshirt on...

there isnt things u really SHOULD & SHOULDNT do, it depends in context... my mates and i take the piss out of eachother all the time,

i have umpteen stories and before i knew the lads in work they thought i was lyin about all the stuff i did.... when cumin to see me dj one of them come out and said, we all thought u wer chattin shit, coz of all ur storys u have an tha...

now they call me bulshitter, and its funny, i call myself it... i know what i say is true... now they know me better so do they! but i still skit myself for it...

every time im about to tell a story they say "does this involve a stripper"

take ur flaws & make fun of them... i have a big nose & skit myself for it! coz i couldnt care less

At a guess I'd say this is down to the fact that we like to joke and banter with one another all the time. Everyone does it. I know I get quite frustrated when I say something that was obviously meant as a joke and/or playful and some bellend takes it seriously and/or gets offended. They kill the fun in an evening.

It's also one of those things that shows off true self confidence. So many guys play the macho man act, to the point of being so ridiculously serious and barely talking because they're too manly. They'll take offense to the tiniest thing and get violent, preserving their macho man act. It's such a retarded, transparent shield and they can be incredibly difficult to be around, let alone talk to.

People who can joke about themselves have clear confidence.

okay phil you decide which is 'putting yourself down' and 'laughing at your self.'

Hi I'm Knave, I just walked into that wall over there spilled my drink and everything, three girls started laughing, I felt like such an idiot, I'm not even drunk, I think I broke my jaw, just feel it tell me what you think.

Hi I'm Knave, I think you're pretty, I don't usually have much luck with girls mostly because I'm really shy and not good looking I suppose that's funny, maybe you'll laugh at me when I'm gone, so what do doing here?

Now you get it

i only like to know real people. people who are real. they are what they are.

then our relationship follows the natural laws of the universe. it either comes together, or it goes apart.

i would say following knave's rule of 'never put yourself down' is not that of a real person. but of someone who thinks life is about rules, beliefs, inconsistencies. which aren't even important to me, or anybody else. infact they aren;t even important to knave himself, he just doesn't know it.

sometimes it does take a while for people to open up. and relax. there are a lot of people who can open up at a whim.

kowalski always seemed like one of these people. greg aswell. they just don't hide, if you know what i mean. its what you see is what you get. its beautiful to be honest.

I wonder if people really appreciate what this attitude can do for you. I take this piss in a light hearted manner all the time, out of everyone, especially myself. Granted I'm an easy target. My dad's like that so I suppose that's where I got it from. High status people such as some of my clients especially love it, it brings everything down to a real level and so few people do it. Interestingly, during my battles with depression now I come to think about it, there was a complete lack of self-deprication and humour, everything got so serious and important. Now I think about it some more, I'm pretty sure the SAS get this drummed into them too, they learn to make light of a situation when they are in the shit or need to survive, which I just can's see the Yanks doing with their Seals...they probably do press ups while they are starving in the desert somewhere.

PS