Evening Gents,

I feel I just took twenty steps back after taking so many forward. I internalised the game, I eventually went out and started sarging, I've been really improving on my game, I thought I'd cured one-itis once and for all.

So in the three years I've been working on my game, this is the lowest point I have experienced to date. I know this is the most gay thing anyone can admit in a forum such as this, but I've just read something that really hurt. I think I may have just lost a girl I was planning on hitting on the next time I see her. Even though I've dated two others in the last week, and I wrote a post last week on another girls altogether, I never realised how much I like this one girl until I just saw that she has blatantly lost interest in me.

She is HB9, she is very young and she is my student... She's 18-19. I repeat before I continue that I am PERMITTED to socialise with students.

I met her in january of this year, I've dated numerous others in that time and not had any interest in anything more with any of them.

In our first lesson together, it was in a class of about 18 students so it was a big one... I called her name as I did the register... she was giggling... playing with her necklace,smiling with her head tilted to one side. She was beyond obvious. She had a crush on the teacher there and then. We played a game where the class had to write a mystery message to every other student in the class... about half the class wrote one for me also. They were anonymoud, but her's said to me (knew her writing immediately) "do you want to go out with me tonight? "

I told her at the end of the lesson that I knew it was her and she said, that she's young and she has a boyfriend, I reminded her that I wouldn't date a student (lie) and basically it's been flirting games since then (with a 3 month period in spain). I didn't move on her because her boyfriend was a student also (common sense, and courtesy), but I know they broke up in about June.

Got back to Italy in September, continued as before. Yesterday she was in the other classroom with the new teacher and I was in another class next to it (there's a glass wall so you can see everything that happens in each others' rooms. She seemed into him. Admittedly he's pretty good looking, although I wouldn't say he's better looking than me (speaking objectively here). I suppose he's the new boy in town. She seemed to like him.

I go on facebook later that evening and she's written a message to another girls student that I know quite well (translated into English):

"you HAVE TO see the new english teacher"
"is he hot?"
"mamma mia! (yes she really said it), he's from new york, classic american. handsome handsome"
"oh damn why wasn't I there... we'll share him!"

etc etc etc

My throat tightened. I feel humiliated. I fell like I've just lost a huge chunk of territory. It really hurt. This is the weird part. Because nothing has bothered me for a long time now, except my ex. She looked at me like she adored me every time I walked into the room. Now I'm old news

I'd never tell her, but she'll never know how much that hurt. For the first time since I left club AFC in 2008, I feel like a chump, like one of those times when you leave a school disco after witnessing one of the dudes putting his tongue down the throat of your school crush.

Damn.

She is a trigger which is throwing you back in to your old AFC patterns and behaviour. Make some distance, delete her from Facebook, don't talk about her(unless you have to) and start finding some other hot girl to fuck. Unless you want to go back on square 1.

unfortunatelt it's probably the best way. I'm feeling a bit more logical now. I wrote the post about 10 minutes after I found out. I'm still a bit hurt but at least I'm thinking a bit more logically this morning

who gives a fuck what she writes on facebook, if u want her escalate, if u dont then dont. also dont internalise The Game, it is a terrible book.

first of all, please take a chill pill.

you have not moved twenty steps back, because in truth, you never moved 20 steps forward.

welcome to life. here you have a big fuck off dose of life. and yes, it isn;t fucking pretty is it. you have just been kicked in the nuts. and now you are a wounded soldier.

do you know how many people have been in this situation with women? do you even know how many times this girl has made a guy feel like this? do you know how many times shes felt intense jealousy? do you know how many times she has experienced pain in the romance game?

it is a fact of what we are. you can't stop it. you can't end it.

you have not, and never will, get rid of negative emotions, such as intense jealousy, and what you are feeling now.

THEY ARE APART OF HUMAN LIFE.

the moral of the story? RELAX. GO WITH THE FLOW. THIS HAPPENS TO US ALL. AND IT IS HAPPENING TO YOU. IT SEEMS A BIG FUCKING DEAL RIGHT NOW. BUT IT IS NOT. IT IS TINY. IT IS NOTHING. IT IS A MERE FLAVOUR OF THE ICE CREAM THAT IS ON OFFER TODAY, IN THE ANOLOGY THAT IS LIFE!

go read a book. go chill with friends. go have a big wanking session over this girl.

hell, go cry to your momma. she will tell you it will all be ok. BECAUSE IT WILL!

fleeting emotions, it will pass! ha! how awesome! to know that you will feel as normal as you did on the day you were born in a 2 weeks, after these feelings have gone.

so i repeat, don't worry about what you feel. it is natural. and only proves you are human congratulations, you aren't a robot.

i would recommend quit reading all this game shit, and anything that tells you you shouldn't be feeling like this. anything that says you are a bad person or what not for feeling this. as it is normal. i have experienced it, every man has experienced it, most woman have probably experienced it also.

over and out

camarda

You need to go out more dude. Push yourself into tougher situations, this shouldn't be your worst moment. Going out more will make you immune to this kind of shit and better equipped to handle it
Bear in mind that girls aren't ever attracted to just one guy. They're like us. If you see a hot girl and you're attracted does that necessarily mean you don't like the student girl any more? No. There's always a chance she'll reject you but don't reject yourself dude.
As far as this goes just pull the trigger. Do something or don't. Personally in your position I'd just forget it go out and find someone better, but if you like her the total chance of something happening unless you escalate = zero. Do this ASAP or don't bother, the longer you wait the outcome attached and in your own head you'll get. It sounds to me like you're a long way down that road anyway but hey...

Oh yeah, and fuck The Game, the stuff in there's manipulative and mega creepy.

Meh, i just pissed myself laughing at this post!! Really mate wtf????

THANK YOU!

AJay

Things that used to upset me don't upset me anymore.

Sometimes the things that upset you are silly and you need to change the way you think to prevent getting upset over silliness. Sometimes the things that upset you are important and you need to get upset over them to keep you moving in the right direction.

This is the first one.


Even before you read her post if you had even a single flash thought about it you would have recognised that you already know you aren't the only person she is attracted to.

In a sense you already knew that she fancied other people because you already had sufficient information about the universe to know that a girl doesn't fancy just one boy at a time (just as you don't fancy only one girl at a time). In another sense you didn't already know, because you had never brought the two thoughts (thoughts about this girl specifically and thoughts about humans fanying each other) into your consciousness at the same time until you read her post. Reading her post made you think about both at the same time. So her post seemed contained information to you at a conscious level.


Every girl you ever meet and have any kind of relationship with is going to fancy other guys. Fact.

Reading the post affected you as it contained one piece of information that you previously were not consciously aware of, namely "This girl fancies other guys too". If you are generally aware of that, as you are now you've read this, then having it highlighted to you in the future shouldn't upset you as the highlighting event won't contain any information.


Peace,

kowalski

Just find some other girls who aren't your students!

Meeting more girls is the solution most of the time.....if anything, it will probably make your students more interested if you dis-engage with trying to flirt with them/ask them out on dates

You are the TEACHER, you should have the bloody power - not the student!

Seriously man, you may read this post in a couple of months and think 'why was I being such a douche'

If you start getting attention so easily you get addicted to it. Bottom line is don't get this addiction.