Something that I've struggled with all my life is a hypocrisy to attraction, namely that I tend to loose all interest in a girl after she shows attraction to me if I didn't initiate it.

So, if I'm not interested in girl A, or hardly know she's there, and suddenly she's flirting with me, I loose all interest in her (which occasionally tends to make them even more interested and more forward with their flirting)

but, it can also backfire on me to a point. If I'm interested in girl B and she begins flirting with me BEFORE I started flirting with her, I tend to loose interest as well.

What I'm wondering is if anyone else has this issue? I've talked to a few other guys over the years, and they all think that I'm crazy that I'll turn a girl away if I didn't begin the interactions.

I can't tell if I'm just being a knob or if it's an alpha sort of thing that I need to lead the interaction/relationship. Luckily all hope is not lost entirely, and I've began using these occasional situations to my advantage, mostly having girl A flirt with me even though I'm not interested, and making sure that it's in view of girl B who I am interested in before I go over and begin talking with girl B.

Thoughts? Comments?

Nothing out of the norm mate, just your perception of value changes when they start wanting you. We want a chase, when something comes too easily we place lower value on it. We are all looking for that diamond amongst the lumps of coal. What your experiencing is a trait of a Top Value Bloke, so be proud.

AJay

This is a classic human trait of wanting won't we can't have and vice versa.

However, maybe this happens because when girls initiate conv we assume they are lower value than us to have to approach/flirt with us. Thus we don't fancy them as they are less than us. no top value bloke stuff here. Guy with very low opinion of himself could view girl as even lower for having to flirt with him to get some male attention...

Does everyone else on here fancy girls less if they are the ones coming onto you and leading interaction?

Not me.

I think girls who come on to me are the best girls. I love it.


Peace,

kowalski

There have been occasions I felt intimidated by the girl leading.
Then I manned the fuck up and embraced it.
As K said, it is a good thing when they come on to you - just get out of your own head..

Women LOVE being dominated... LOVE IT!!!!!!

..........

alright... so, I'll take both of these ideas and combine them.

It's alright to feel 'less alpha' by having a girl begin... but the even better thing to do is to take charge of the situation myself and decide from that point on if I'm interested in her, rather than being dictated away immediately.

Thanks all.