Right, so this new girl I'm seeing, things have been going well for a while now.
She's away at the weekend and some guy posts on her FB something along the lines of what city are you in now (she used to travel). She replies and a few hours later the guy replies great, I'm nearby why don't you come and see me sometime with an x at the end of the sentence. She's away all weekend but as soon as she returns, she either deletes or blocks me from seeing the entire post.

Can't be sure but I'm guessing this means he's some guy from her past now hanging around as a FB orbiter and wants to try it on again. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't do anything and suspect she just deleted the post because she doesn't want to discuss the situation with me. However, from those who've read my previous posts...this is just the sort of situation that gets me into trouble with knowing a girl's past because the urge I have is to ask about it... knowing full well that by then it's probably going to be too much information for me.

So trying to ignore the urge to ask questions is gonna be the issue for me. I suspect I should try and keep quiet unless she shows any sign of going to where this orbiter lives (unlikely given she's seeing me).

I just find FB particularly frustrating for this kind of thing as it makes you wonder how many other people that person has on their account that might send them a message from time to time, that's why orbiters are always an annoyance for me.

Stop using Facebook.


Peace,

kowalski

yes, quality of life goes up when facebook is out of the picture.

im meeting some girl, i have her on facebook...

i dont look at her wall

i make sure her statuses are not visable to me. i dont need to know her personally business coz i may not like it.

do the same.

and she deleted it coz she is gonna meet him.

if she was that not bothered she wudda put under it

"no i cant im busy"

for you to see.

maybe but I think it's unlikely - if that really were what I believed then I would have to ask her about it.
It's more that I asked her a few weeks if she kept in contact with exes and obviously then this guy pops up.
that + people don't usually put refusals on their wall...

agreed but in practice FB is designed to feed you this info all over the site.

u answered ur own thread

not in my practice... u can block it, so do it! id rather not know! be assed with eatin myself up over shit that doesnt matter

I agree with some of the above and I can say that I sympathise somewhat.

However, that said I think the problem here is a little deeper rooted than facebook itself.

I'm not sure how old you are, but unless you're 15-17, which I sincerely doubt, you can't expect any HB that you go out with to have lived a life of celibacy, waiting for the day that you show up and sweep her off her feet.

Yes, she may have had a one night stand before, perhaps more than one. Yes, it's very possible that she's been with a guy that was "bigger" than you before. These are things that may seem hard to accept at first (and I think that's the kind of bs that's going round your head). However, consider the following:

You know that rather annoying generator of bullshit located somewhere deep in the female brain? You should know what I mean, it's the part that will use any excuse to disqualify you if her emotions have already decided she doesn't like you. For example, she says she likes guys with dark hair and blue eyes who are sweet and sensitive: She meets a guy fitting that description and decides she doesn't like him, instead choosing a hard ass with blond hair and dark eyes, simply because he made her feel right. It probably works against you quite a lot.

The good news however, is that that generator of complete crap can actually work in your favour. Even if you suck in bed, if she likes you, she'll believe it was the best sex she's had in ages. She ISN'T JUST SAYING THIS. She believes this to be true.

Furthermore, you probably don't suck in bed anyway (and if you do there's plenty of PUA material on various other sites that can help, just don't waste your money on most of the Ebooks they offer though, 9/10 of them are rubbish). So, don't worry about that. If she's into you, she's looking at you through golden goggles and will treat all other competitors with great suspicion.

Don't blow that with AFC bullshit and insecurity. Take advantage of that advantage.

It's about 5% of the above, 25% not knowing the girl very well yet, and about 70% it just annoys me having old flings constantly trying to bite your heels - I don't go on old flings' and exes' walls typing messages to them.
Must be a bloke/girl difference or something.

Trap's post was spot-on.

I've been there. You're being insecure. Just ignore it and act cool. Girls are allowed to have male friends, you need not get defensive everytime she interacts with a guy, as it will just push her toward them more.

If you make it clear to her she's not allowed to do something, much like a rebellious teenage girl to her mum she'll be more inclined to pursue that thing and do it.

Good looking girls with always have guys posing as merely friends who want to fuck her, ex's who maintain emotional attachment and don't let go, horny male workmates etc... You cannot subdue or attempt to control it without negative consequences.

Jealousy will only affect or rule you if you let it; it's all in your head.

What these guys said!

But if you really feel it burning you up inside then just talk to her about it, don't make it a big thing, just say "I noticed you and Mr X BigShclong organizing to meet up the other day, is this something I should be worried about?"
to which she'll either look sheepish and you know she's a whore or the more likely option, she'll say "don't be silly he's just an old work colleague I catch up with twice a year who used to date my friend, hence the post deletion"

Seriously so much can be said for talking normally about it without getting heated or upset, if you talk normally in a regular tone, she will reply normally, even when breaking up with somebody. I find problems come when I get upset of frustrated, then the other person either mirrors my feelings and/or becomes very defensive.