I wrote this on another forum about a year ago, except I re-vamped it a little as it was a bit loose and rambling before. It is more observations of my own behaviours than a guide I followed. Not sure how I feel about it now. My behaviours haven't changed, my understanding of them has.

You can be the Alpha at work, no matter what your position.

The best example of this EVER is 'Jeeves and Wooster' (a British sit-com). It starred Hugh Laurie as Bertie Wooster, a jovial but empty-headed young gentleman, and Stephen Fry as Jeeves, his improbably well-informed and talented valet. (quoted from Wiki). Despite being the valet Jeeves is definitely in control, a total Alpha.

First thing's first you need to be on top of your job, totally on top of it. So much that you never need to be asked to do anything because it is already done. You know your responsibilities, so make sure you are doing them and to an extremely high standard.

Second, think of your role as the most important. If your job is to clean tables, then everyone else has to do their job to create work for you. The waitresses must take orders, the chefs must cook the food, then the waitresses must deliver the food to the table, customers must eat the food etc. all of this is done to enable one thing - you cleaning the tables. Seeing things in this way their roles are subordinate to yours. They are just prepping for you

Third, don't get sucked into the bosses frame. At my work some of the directors speak to the air and people attend to them straight away. They announce things to no-one in particular and everyone answers. E.g. 'This pen doesn't work' gets a million offers of another pen in a flash. Don't do this. It will confuse them and they will start to chase your attention.

Fourth, maintain strong body language at all times. Walk through doors first, keep your shoulders broad and maintain a definite direction when you are on a collision course. They will give way. When you walk together put your hand on their back as he leading them around.

Fifth, be friendly and relaxed. Encourage conversation about non-work topics. Make sure they know how socially awesome you are and that you have a lot of pretty girls in your life.

Sixth, when not in work give more attention to your friends than the boss. Remember you are not in work so nothing can come back on you. There are laws to protect you. They will inevitably bring the conversation around to work. Shut this conversational thread down hard and fast. A couple of years ago the general manager tried to show a bunch of us a message on his Blackberry with a bunch of performance stats on it. I said 'Dude, we're in the pub. Nobody wants to see that. Here this is the kind of text you show your boys in the pub' and slid my phone into the middle of the table displaying the filthiest sex text. A moment people still talk about. Legendary. And ... the GM loves me.

The sum of all this is carry on being you. Free expression of your authentic self. I am the same person wherever I am. Of course you should respond to specific social circumstances appropriately just don't transform completely. Don't be a social chameleon. Remain congruent. Be yourself, and make no excuses for who you are and what you do.


Peace,

kowalski

Mmm. 'Free expression of your authentic self'. I love that!
It's something I want to be able to do so badly, yet I am always finding myself unable to do so. And the worst part is, I don't even really know why!
Having a complete sense of self, truly knowing who you are and trusting yourself, loving yourself, is what life is all about.
I would rather have this than any amount of money, or women!
My self actualisation will be just to be at peace with myself.