Recently there has been a deluge of threads asking extremely specific questions about live situations like ...

"How do I reply to this text?"
"I'm meeting this girl for coffee. I normally have a vanilla shot. Will this make her think I'm gay?"
"I'm going for drinks with 7 jews. What percentage of the night should we spend discussing foreskin?"

And more often than not the question is justified with the rejoinder "It's just that I really want to get this girl she's so ...".

This is a worrying trend.

One reason is that people are putting far too much time, thought and effort into a specific girl when they ask questions like this. It's a little obsessive.

Another is that thinking and learning this way dramatically slows down development. When people ask and receive a very specific piece of advice on how to deal with a situation, whether it is succesfull or not, next time a situation arises they'll need to come ask for another specific piece of advice and they're unlikely to escape this cycle.

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for life."
We're here to learn how to fish not to beg for fishes.


Here is a superior tactic. You know some things about PU. Go out and do what you think is best. After a situation has played itself out, come post about what you did, why you did it and what the outcome was, then we can discuss those motivations and you can learn and adapt. If you read through the posts of people who have advanced quickly and successfully, you'll see that this is how they have done things.


Peace,

kowalski

Never more than 10%, if you do it will always end in tears..

But good post.

Guys live and learn, crash and burn, rise from the ashes and soar.

I am the lizard king, I can do anything.

Top post K.

I think a major problem with the PUA community is that most people, like myself, came into it through The Game. The Game promotes a style of Pick Up which is very rigid. As Style himself says in the book, every possible response of a woman is catered for. It might well work, which is great. But I think it means guys come into this community thinking they just have to learn a couple of lines - and that every situation has a perfect line, which they can ask for help with.

The reason I was attracted to this forum ahead of every other PUA forum out there (and there are many) is that this forum focuses on the fundamental principles that underpin effective pick up.

I grew so tired of other forums where people asked 'does this opener work?' and 'what can I say next?'. The reason this forum fucking rocks is that the people who are here understand that there is more to it than this.

It's that magic bullet everyone's after or the one thing that explains everything that doesn't exist. It's a refinement of knowledge and data.

I reckon it boils down to a perceived lack of options.

They don't want to fuck up the chance they have because of the perception they not get another chance or because their putting the situation on too much of a pedestal.

They don't realize its fucking up that makes you awesome.

The willingness to learn from your mistakes and not give up makes you into the person you want to be and gets you the things you want to have.

Just a couple of hours after I wrote the OP I saw Nerdstock, a non-religious festival at christmas. Totally awesome event (probably still on i-Player). On it there was a rapper called Baba who raps about science.

Now that's cool enough on it's own. However, Baba also has his raps peer reviewed. In academia peer review is a process where you describe your work to respected members of your field, they give you feedback, then you re-work your ideas. This process continues until satisfaction. In other words: Performance. Feedback. Revision.

Baba uses this process, as a rapper, to hone his lyrics and delivery. He noticed that everything that has ever progressed, advanced or succeeded has done so by employing this same fundamental pattern. Including evolution where the same pattern is usually described as phenotype, natural selection, adaptation.

As has been repeatedly demonstrated throughout history, this method is succesfull and you can't make consistent progress without employing it. This is base and it backs and illustrates the inescapable universality of the point I was making in the OP. So here's your 3 point guide to progress...

Performance.
Feedback.
Revision.

Here's a video performance fo' ya ... http://m.youtube.com/watch?desktop_u...JzYkPTo8&gl=US

And, here is his site where you can listen to the rest of the album, checkout his lyrics and download the album for free, a donation is encoraged but not required.

The Rap Guide to Evolution


Peace,

kowalski

All kinds of amazing

YouTube - Performance, Feedback, Revision: Live at the Cambridge Darwin Festival

Ok here's it for people who don't use mobile internet

and nerdstock....

BBC iPlayer - Nerdstock: 9 Lessons and Carols for Godless People

Available till 30th of jan methinks

Oh and Performance Feedback Revision

As someone who is 3 years into writing a PhD thesis (in political science), what I write today is vastly different from what I wrote 3 years ago. This is because I have performed (written up my work following research - ala, gone out in the field)... Received feedback (I've been through 3 Annual Reviews, where my work has been absolutely torn to bits - ala posting on this forum for comments and criticism from other authorities on the subject)... and I have revised my work to the point that the style, substance, and even the very broad methodology which underpins my whole thesis has been completely overhauled (ala - becoming a PUA!).

It takes time, years and years, hard work, graft, and on occasions, really putting a lot of time in only to see your efforts written off, and roundly criticised from every possible angle!

But I have never responded negatively to criticism from my tutors, I have gobbled up every bit of advice they have given me, and I have used that to hone my work. I am in the middle of re-re-rewriting three of my draft chapters (I'm not even 30% done with this thesis yet!), but my approach today is so much more thorough, less superficial, and is based on much stronger principles and methods than it was three years ago.

And that is only because I have repeated that process: Performance. Feedback. Revision.

I completely agree with many of the points in this post. Think the problem lies with scripted v natural game. Canned stuff is okay to kickstart the throttle but living in your head will cause so many negatives on a subconscious level that the odds are any interaction will sink and fast.

I dig the impromptu stuff simply because it promotes self betterment on the whole.