My Message To New Guys (And Old Dogs) In Regards To The Community

[Jaz]

I think this whole thing is fucked.

Ok, a slight exaggeration. But I feel at least the overall marketed belief system involved in pick up is fucked. This is not pointing fingers at any one school of thought or any person. It is just that the legend and expected results of pick up is all wrong. The path in which the majority of guys have taken is wrong, they are trying allot harder than they need to, wasting their time. They invest too much energy and emotion "grinding it out" until one day, it just clicks and they wake up and they have transformed into Jack Nicolson. Not gonna happen.

Your doing it wrong!

Let me address "expected results". What they should be called in the terms and conditions is "results may vary” It is important for us (especially new guys) to understand that the outcome after being involved in the community is going to be different for everyone. It depends of course on a number of factors. Motivation, determination and self confidence are but to name a few. I think however the most important first step someone should make is to make a goal. I have asked in the past numerous people what there goal is, cant say I have ever really had a solid answer of anyone. Usually along the lines of "well I want to feel better about my self and get with some nice lady’s". fair enough. Interesting then, that after serving in the community for a year these people feel somewhat dejected. I point out that they have in fact achieved there goal but yet they are unsatisfied? Interesting how greedy ones ego can be, always wants more! A good technique is to compare yourself now to how you were when you started out. For better or worse. Make your comparisons on fact rather then your imagined future self where your Mack Daddy Big Bollocks.

If you are to take the ad copy literally and believe "seduce any woman you want" then I'm afraid your gonna be here for a long time indeed. I have been involved in the community for three years now and have neither seen nor heard of anyone who can have “any woman” However, let me tell you what this. Its actually all deluded self confidence. A trait that all the top dogs share. Believing that you every woman alive wants to fuck you is cool. If you then approach them and they don’t comply with your sexual introduction - then they are just too overwhelmed by your awesomeness (its her loss). So the idea of "seduce any woman in seconds" should be interpreted as "I am the sexiest man alive - deal with it" I fucking love this process of thought.

The community is not a camp for ANYONE to come into and learn the ways of the Shaolin pimps. No. If you are already a socially, cool guy with street smarts and book smarts. Give it a few months and your fucking fighting woman off with stick. If however you are Mr. awkward, never had a girl, feels uncomfortable amongst strangers. Well, you have a job on your hand my friend and I am going to say this. This place isn’t for you. There are guys (and I have met them) who enter this community with a total lack of social intelligence. This is the glue that makes everything work. To build your social intelligence with just the tools of pick up is to mold yourself into what Neil Strauss referred to as social robots. These men need to address other issues first before they even think about approaching a girl with a canned line. That would be - well being fucking social generally. Try: getting involved in conversations with work mates, going out with friends bowling, enjoying your partners handwork at your bi-weekly basket weaving session. To build ones social skills is easy enough, its a muscle. Just go and be social! Pick up is an attachment to your already honed social skills, another weapon in your arsenal. It is only at this point at which one has become a social person can he then be natural and relaxed when then interacting with woman. The pick up then - is a doddle.

Its interesting meeting with guys from the pua community. Its like going to a swingers party. Everybody knows WHY they are there, the formality’s of banter and polite chit chat ease the mood before you get into the unspoken business. Anyway, there are two camps when it comes to "sarging", that’s right just the two: hardcore and social. "The hardcore" are just that. They are not interested in making friends, they want a solid wingman and that is all. They are not there to drink or enjoy the music. They are there for one sole purpose, woman, and god help anyone who stand in there way. The second camp is "The Social". These guys are about the group, the boys, the banter, the beer and the singing and dancing. The woman for them can often be an afterthought.

These are the tribes. So what are they good for? Well the hardcore I feel are ultimately on a path of self destruction. The whole "I am here for one reason" mentality is not a good one to have. I find it interesting that they have to "fake" who they actually are to get a woman. They fake they are super social butterfly’s when really they are covering up the fact that they have only come to that club to get whatever they can. Make no mistake, these Machiavellian folk have a silver tongue and can sell themselves with razor like skill. But they are selling faulty goods and I wonder how long they can keep up the act. The social group on the other hand, I say social because they always travel in packs and stick together. Why? because its safe. They can hide behind each other as well as the alcohol and drugs they may be taking to make the night more comfortable. But I feel they have too much of crutch. It is easy to be seduced by just the guys in the group and forget the real reason why you are there. You can see the glitch in there matrix, when this group of men, just suddenly stop dead in silence, then look solemnly around each others shoulders at the woman in the room. They do this because they know. They should be taking right action and talking to woman.

So which camp is best, well this aint fucking west side story so I am being very general. But you already know what I am going to say now anyway. You have to do both. Be social, be part of a support group. Not just for an elite force of wingmen but for friendship. Have FUN. Don’t fake the funk to anyone, most importantly to yourself. Don’t get seduced by the group, take right action, when your having high fives with your pals the transition then to grabbing a girl and building attraction is so much easier. In contrast, don’t put the pussy on a pedicel and make pick up your only goal. Fuck it I am going to say: If you go alone in club without your friends, sober and without the intention of making any interaction apart from that of chatting up drunks girls, then you a creepy fucking weirdo and I don’t want to know you. I am sick of watching miserable fuckers standing at in the middle of dance floors, mulling around like zombie looking for brain to feed on. I call this "being lost in the fog". Don’t be.

And that’s it. Not very coherent. But that’s all I have to say. For now.

Bless.

[Tw1sted]

Why the fuck can't I write articles like that. I fucking hate you.

[POWER STEVE!]

I agree with the social aspect. I have met a lot of people on this forum who I now feel extremely comfortable around. This is the main reason why my game has started to improve as of late. I go out with people I know and actually look forward to the night. This immediately puts me in the right frame of mind, and I instantly relax. My game goes way up when I am with people I like and feel comfortable with - this is huuuuuuggggeee!! (This is probably the reason why I still find mid-week gaming so difficult - the expectations, the fact that I refrain from drinking, and that all mid-week venues are so frikking loud!!).

Also, with regards to long term goals, my biggest epiphany was the concept of chipping away to get to your better self. Every time I go out, if I approach, I WILL have gained something, even if the night sucks. As a result, I have no expectations, and pat myself on the back even if things go shit. I found Tyler's concept (from The Blueprint) about the brain calibrating both consciously and subconsciously from every interaction you have with women massive. Just go out and approach and you WILL eventually improve, its inevitable - almost all your problems will by solved by doing this one thing. Everything changed for me after realizing this.

[Jaz]

You have the right frame of mind Steve.

Unfortunately, some people lack the ability to "pat themselves on the back" if they are not banging models everynight after 6 months in the field. I feel, like yourself, If I have a good enjoyable night then that is a success. It's good to have a long term goal, but to be able stand back and reflect on where you are now and relize how you are improving, that IS success and everyone here can do that

[Kes]

Jaz, awesome post, dude. Like, seriously, you've nailed it.

For me though, I really think you can belong in any camp you want; whether its hardcore or social. As long as you're cool with me - I'm cool with you.

I belong in the social set for sure, I like hanging out with the guys first, and like 2pac said: "busting bitches is a hobby!". This doesn't mean that I don't have goals. I certainly do, but those goals are about self-improvement, not the validation i'd get from a particular woman.

[JackStarr]

Jaz I think maybe it's coincidence, or maybe everyone's starting to work this out, but you've posted this right at a time where I've been starting to notice exactly what you've just written. It's rare that I would say this for such a long post, but I agree with absolutely everything you say.

No "tribe" is the right one - the best solution is in the middle.

The only thing I'd like to add is that girls (and other people in the club) notice when you're playing the hardcore "hunting game", and you're absolutely right.

Catch you guys tomorrow. Peace,

[Mad_Fer_It]

Mate, that's pretty much exactly my perception of the community, seduction etc.

Cracking post.