I am going to talk to you from the point of view of somebody who wants to sleep with allot of women. Someone who does not want a committed relationship.

If you wanna be a playboy, you have to be tough.

However, It is a common misconception that you have to lack empathy or emotion. This can work, manipulation people for your own needs. But ultimately you are damaging yourself physiologically and leaving allot of people hurt in the process. What you do need to be is in control of your emotions. If you make a logical decision then stick to it, do not let emotion interfere. However, you must be aware of other peoples feelings.

The keys to success in this game are straightforward. Be honest, take control and of course, do this without being selfish.

Allot of people will disagree with me when I say this, then do so. But this is my opinion based of my life experiences. So you will not change my mind as yet. Women are ruled emotion. If they are not guided by someone they trust, they cannot separate emotion from sex. If they are manipulated into bed, then they will later regret it. Second to that, if a women is yet again not been clarified the terms before hand. She will seek some relationship/commitment from her partner regardless of what she said before. If you are cold to her emotionally and are selfish in your needs. She will feel used and resent you for it.

The amount of girls I have met who have said "yeh, I dont want anything serious" then a month later there acting all needy and seeking some commitment is ridiculous. Again. I have had one night stands where everything was from I thought cool. Then I see that very same girl months later and she abrasive and standoffish with me.

I have learn't from this.

Well, it was my fault. I was not honest, I did not take control and I was not understanding of her emotional state.

So let us take it from the top. Honesty. The most important factor in "pick up". This is why canned material "wont" work. You have to be honest about everything from the start. Say you meet a nice girl in a bar. Let her know exactly WHY you are talking to her. Tell her exactly WHAT you want the two of you to do. Let her know exactly what to expect. You must be cool but not cold. You must take charge.

By taking charge I do not mean in caveman sense of whipping her over your shoulder and striding back to your place. Just be a man. After all that is what women wants. A man is honest and assertive but also considers other peoples feelings without being selfish. Once you have made it crystal clear of your intentions (and here is the key part) You must then enjoy the night together. Sure, you are driving things foreword. But you are also checking to her state to make sure you enjoying it also. You are emphasizing with her emotions and bringing her to your state, into your reality.

Mistakes men make are that they are either too emotional and submissive. Or too cold and dominant.

It is typical a new fellow will be emotional and submissive. Afraid to take the lead, too bothered about what SHE is thinking rather than stimulating her emotions. On the flip side of that, your natural "player" type will most likely be cold and dominant - not a good look. Sure they get women, but it is based on his own selfish desires and ego.

Let me touch upon the point of honesty one more time. You must be honest to yourself. This means having standards. I don't bang as many chicks as I used to and that is because of this. Before hand, I would literally sleep with anything. But know I am VERY strict. I have a "one strike and your out" policy now. If a girl starts acting like a fucking idiot, bye bye. I honestly don't give a shit. Sex is sex. I'd want to meet and interesting ,cool women, not just bang any hole I can blag to sleeping with me. After all if I cant be honest with myself then how do I expect to be honest with anybody else?

So to re-iterate. Honest, taking control and having empathy. These I feel (for the time being) are the major pillars of the philanderer.

That was fucking good post, well put.

My personal view is there is honesty and there is honesty, 'I'm not about to start saying, 'hey girl I'm only interested in sex unless you're pretty damn amazing, you're single again in a couple of weeks'.

That seems like the difference between honesty and disclosure that you are reaching towards, Knave.

I'm pro disclosure, in a lot of cases. It makes me feel good.


Peace,

kowalski

You’re right there is a clear distinction, which means my initial comment on honesty in retrospect becomes void, but the use of disclosure affects my morality or lack of it, but that was never up for discussion anyway.

There is a saying I love, Honesty it makes you a better person.

Problem is this is all very well and good for the likes you and me but the reason more people aren't honest and the reason they hide behind their routines is because they feel ashamed of who they are. They can't express who they are and what they want for fear of rejection.

It takes confidence in your self to be honest.

Agreed.

Confidence comes over time. This is is just my thoughts on game at this moment in time. Of course, I have been doing it for a while so I may be more confident in myself than a very new guy.

My new favourite saying should be " being in the game for a long time, it makes you a better person"

This is exactly what I was thinking, it requires a fundamental level of self esteem. An acceptance that girls like you and to just chill the fuck out and let it happen. I've never used routines because, well frankly it's obvious that they sound ridiculous and I'm not that insecure. I do/did have issues though, and have used Juggler method extensively and found it a very useful crutch to be honest.

As time goes on I get glimpses though. For example the other day some bird was trying to play games with me, and something in me snapped. I just stopped caring somehow, not as a cliche, but internally I felt it. All the attachment to pursuing her just dropped out of my body and mind, I sort of dismissed her within myself, rejected her. Instantly my state shifted...and she was all over me. It was so simple and I've had a few instances like that lately, both with girls and with Clients strangely enough.

I still can't wrap my head around how to foster it, but I know I want more of this simplicity.

PS

It's the same as when you think I need to stop giving a fuck what people think about me because when they do I get all the bitches after me, it doesn't work because that's the same as caring what people think.

It's why saying be natural is such shit advice, trying to be natural is not being natural.

Just let what may be be.

Just do what you want and be open about it.

Just don't do it because I said it.

= Be natural.

You've said the same thing just with more words.


Peace,

kowalski