Hey everyone. This is a list of cool text message ideas I have found these on other forums and thought you guys would benefit from them I know I have. There's a lot, too many for one post in fact.

Feel free to add your own.

NB: I did not come up with these myself (except the one with my name against it), nor do I necessarily think they are all good. Some may be repeated I can't be arsed to check for duplicates right now as it took me ages to gather them all together, so might do this later.

Here we go...

(opener) What are you doing, cutie?
(opener) SURPRISE!
(opener) Knock knock...
(opener) How's my favorite little brat doing?
(opener) Ciao bella! / Mi amore! / My cheri amore!
(opener) I just made you open your phone for no reason...looks like I got you in check =]
(opener) Hey goof, I bet my weekend can beat up your weekend.
(opener) What sort of trouble are you causing?
(opener) I am luring girls to my house with candy, which do you prefer skittles or M&M's?
(opener) Hey..do me a favor and text me right back. Just hi or something. My friends dont believe retards can text. We'll show em lil buddy
(opener) I know my math u+i equals 69
(opener) Girls are gross...
(opener) Hey princess, I Just came back from the aquarium and I saw the cutest fish there...it reminded me of you
(opener) I hope you are smiling. If not just think of me!
(opener) Aliens are coming to abduct all the good looking sexy ass people! You will be safe, I'm just texting to say goodbye
(opener) Remember guys tomorrow is "Hug a retard" day...So don't freak out like you did last year, NO ONE IS TRYING TO HURT YOU!
(opener) I miss you and wanna see you, but this dumb security guard won't let me in the zoo. Is there any way you can escape?
(opener) Why'd you have to give your mom my phone number..? She won't quit calling me now..
(opener) Did you know a blue whales tongue weighs as much as an elephant!? That’s ridiculous… Gotta love animal planet during the lunch break…
(for flakes) I just met your twin
(for flakes) I like talking to you and I don't play games. I think we're really good together. Lets try it if not that's cool and I'm glad we met.
(push-pull) Out of all the (first name) (last name)'s I know... I think your my favorite.
(push-pull) You just popped into my head so Hi...now please stay out of there
(push-pull) Everytime I see u, I smile. When u walk, I laugh. When u speak, I get excited. For some reason, retarded people amuse the hell out of me!
(for same night) Sweet dreams, sexy [name]
(for same night) Hey I hope you got home safe. [name]
(attraction) Let's fly to Las Vegas, get married, argue about our third kid's name, divorce, and grow old lonely and depressed
(attraction) I don't know who you're boyfriend is...but he's not spanking you enough!
(attraction) I don't think you're ready for this jelly
(attraction) Awww, you're so sweet. You're making me get diabetes.
(attraction) I just don't think we should do this anymore...Sometimes you make me feel like I am just a piece of meat.
(comfort) I was thinking of you...
(comfort) Something about u seems to always make me smile.
(sex) This is a breathalizer test. Please blow in the phone.....Result: Positive 90% for sperm breath

MULTI-LINERS
"congratulations"
"for what?" "what did i do?" "why?"
"i was just thinking of u. congratulations"

"Who is this?"
[girls name]
"I know...I'm just being an ass"

"Did you know that LIPS and KISS are typed the same way on your phone?"
"I love how soft your lips are, I can't wait to kiss them again."

More...
"WE DO IT in bed, WE DO IT on the sofa, WE DO IT on the table, WE EVEN DO IT in the car. Yup... we LOVE TEXTING. Send to everyone you DO IT WITH"

PUA: *send blank text*
HB: why did u just send me a blank txt (something along those lines)
PUA: Babe, you dont have to come up with excuses to talk to me!
-OR-
PUA: It must be so humiliating having to make up excuses to talk to me!

I'm having trouble applying toothpaste. Can you come over?

PUA: Who was that sexy guy you were just talking to? damn (Hb's name) =) (This is a personal favorite of mine and I use it every time I get a number: kowalski)

"[your name] is the sexiest man alive"... send this message to 10 people, or your dog will mysteriously disappear tomorrow afternoon"

Whenever a girl reschedules on you, or tries to change the date of your Day 2: "You are so high maintenance, you better be worth it."

Used the following when I invited on girl to hang out with some friends of mine (pool party) and she said she couldn't come:
[flake]: No sweat. I'll just take pictures of the amazing time we had and next time I see you I'll show you what you missed.

" I am afraid we are only expressing ourselves in a very "texual" kind a way.... we better slow down...lol"
or: "You're unbelievable....not even one phone call since we last had "text"..lol"

+Out of all the (first name) (last name)'s I know... I think your my favorite.
+You just popped into my head so Hi...now please stay out of there.

"I've made a sticker to stick on your ass. It's yellow and says "HAZARDOUS SUBSTANCE. STAND BACK" in big black letters!

Best if executed after F-Close
[Sexual]"Hold this phone to your leg so I can hump it!" Include pic of your crotch.
Field tested alternative. Said she laughed so hard she couldn't breathe: "you know you want the nip!" -include pic of your nipple

"you are so sweet, if i ran out of jolly ranchers i would suck on you"

Me: OMG! you would not believe what happen to me last night...
GirlInstant Response) What?!? tell me
Me: Oh shit sorry wrong person
Drives them freakin crazy

PUA: "your [insert some attribute] is the 2nd most attractive thing about you"
At this point they will always ask you what the first thing is. DON'T tell them - they will obsess over it!

"hey... guess what hard and pink and goes in n out and comes out wet and sticky ?
"Her: lol idk what ?
Me: guess and ull get a prize when I see u
Her: well I don't want that... lol
Me: what you don't want bubblegum haha

You: *send blank*
Her: "Uh...you sent me a blank msg" (etc)
You: "I think my phone misses your phone."

Hey..do me a favor and text me right back. Just hi or something. My friends dont believe retards can text. We'll show em lil buddy

How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?

In 2009 [subsequent year to the current] the U.S. Gov will start shipping retards away. I started crying when I thought of you. Be strong, wear your helmet, and run.

Me: Oh my God! Help!
Her: What's the matter??!
Me: Im laying around naked and I'm totally drunk from last night still and I can't get my clothes on. Come over and help me get dressed!

Me: knock knock
She: who's there?
Me: It's me, (name), I thought you had my number

"I am luring girls to my house with candy, which do you prefer skittles or M&M's?"

Listen, I’m tired of you treating me like a sausage w/ feet ok? I’M A HUMAN BEING TOO!

I can’t think straight anymore… all I can think about is “text” w/ you!

I was thinking of you… but then Animal Kingdom ended

Did you know a blue whales tongue weighs as much as an elephant!? Talk about “heavy pashing”.

SAME NIGHT:
Hey don’t drink & drive. I don’t like competition on the road [name]
OR:Hey hey, that’s enough torturing/comedy/awkwardness for 1 night, you can stop dancing now [name]
OR:The bouncers were begging me to take you with when I left but I told them you don’t look nearly as threatening up close [name]
OR:Here's my number, but don’t call before 9am, ok? I need my beauty sleep. [name]

You: Stop
Her: Stop what?
You: Thinking about me & smiling so much. See, I bet you're doing it right now. Stop it.

TODAY IS NATIONAL GOODLOOKING DAY! SEND THIS TO SOMEONE GORGEOUS- BUT NOT ME, I'VE BEEN GETTING THIS TEXT ALL FUCKING DAY! : )

Me: Out of all the (First name Surname)s I know, your the second best.
HB: Only second? lol! Who's the first? lol! x x x
Me: Sorry wrong (First name Surname) x
HB: Lol! So am I the first then? Lol! Jokes x x x
Me: What do you think? x
HB: Well I am pretty fucking amazing! Lol! Joking x x x
Me: Not as amazing as (First name Surname) 1 or 2 lol x

Me: hey are you good at algebra?
Her: blah blah
Me: well I am trying to solve this equation but I am having trouble… the equation is u+I=69.

Me: Hey can you recommend me a Movie?
Her: Yea, The Gone in 60 sec. Movie.
Me: Yea i heard of that.. Is it good enough to watch twice?
Her: Yea it isss!!
Me: Ok I'll be over in 20 mins

I hope you are smiling. If not just think of me!

Heres one I always like to throw in at the end of a convo...
me: "sweet dreams"
(short pause)
me: "of me!"
(short pause)
me: "nothing too kinky though...."

Utext: "Hey.. I just found out Shellys not pregnant, she bought a ovulation
test instead of a pregnacy test at the drug store. LOL."
after she responds with "you have the wrong #" or "who is this?"
Utext: "This is (yourname) who is this?"

Pretty sure this is a Kowalski original:
K: Psychic Test: I'm thinking of a question, the answer is a number between 1 & 10
Whatever number she replies with say it is correct then make up a c+f question.
Example: 1 = where do I come in your list of the worlds sexiest men? 8 = how many times have you masturbated while thinking about me today?

MORE MORE MORE...

Me: girls are gross
HB: why?
Me: so many reasons

Me: Hey, want to join me on TV tomorrow?
her: Why/for what/etc?
Me: I'm going to be on the news:
her: Why/for what/etc?
me: I'm doing to rob and bank and need an accomplice, you down?

Me: hey my birthday is coming up soon and i was looking for a girl to jump out of a cake and you were the first one to come to mind... are you interested??

PUA: How do you keep a xxxxx girl in suspense? (xxxx is replaced by her nationality, race, hair colour, etc)
Her: lol... i dont know you tell me??
After you receive her response, DO NOT REPLY. Ive gotten pretty much every imaginable response from girls ranging from "i dont know how??", which is easy to play off; and other ones where i desperately wanted to reply right away "ooohh wow wouldnt you like to know, id tell you but then id have to kill ya "
Again, DO NOT reply right away. Give it at least a day (more time for more effect) and then just reply with: Thats how

"You got style you got grace, a sexy ass and a gorgeous face, when I am without you my hearts in a slumber, opps, sorry, wrong fucking number!"

1) hey I'm playing super mario, it reminded me of you!

2) my dog wants someone to play with, come over

"Sweet, charming, gorgeous, lovable... Well, enough about me. How are you?

"I have a question, hon. Can you handle an honest compliment? - Good, so can I. You go first"

"Is that you right now in my tree again? The neighbors are going to call the cops on you, and I’m not bailing you out this time. I warned you about this type of behavior!"

"I'm naked... Quit day-dreaming!"

Txt: Omg you gotta stop thinking about me so much, i'm getting goosebumps over here! lol.

Txt: Ouch! Thx for the bruise, you gotta take it easy on me in that little head of your's.

Txt: "Guess what?!"(after she responds). "Made you look. lol."

Txt.: Is it true?(wait for her response)...the rumors!....(her response)...i heard you went streaking with my name written on your butt. lol.

Txt: Hey do you have a tattoo?
(No)..oh..i have a great one, it should go on your butt and say, "(Your name or initial) was here lol."

Txt: So i hear you are doing cupid a favor, why won't you quit stalking me?! lol.

Txt: If you had a million dollars, what would you do?

PUA: I would hate to be you right now
HB: Why?/Huh?/etc
PUA: Doesn't it suck missing me so much?

Enjoy!!!

Fuck! A lot of information to process!

Cheers man! some of these are painfully American tho.

There definitely are a lot of the fuckers

Like I said I don't think they are all good. But I didn't want to let my personal taste interfere, other people may like different ones to me.

There is a few I use a lot. Particularly: The one I wrote (when a girl says she is psychic or has female intuition), the "OMG who was that totally hot guy you were just talking to" (as soon as a girl gives me her number), and the "stop" "stop what" "stop thinking about me and smiling" one.

Too true Jaz. Yanks are sooooo cheesy.

"I know my math u+i equals 69 "

Bwhahahaaha!

Fuck it, im sending that one out now.

I've used the
Before once or twice, word very nicely I have to say.

Its a good way of puming interest levels without appearing needy.

I'm sure I read somewhere most men in the uk will just text every girl in their phone and say "hey what you upto" for a hit. They need this list!

Thought I'd add this one which I received earlier hehe

"I want you, I will find you, I will take you to bed and have my way with you, shake n sweat till you moan n groan. I will exhaust you and leave you weak for days! All my love ...The flu x"

quality thread, thanks for sharin!

texts are such a good way of triggerin emotions and people just say "hey wot u doin"

some gems in here

heya, thanks lol, all them awkward texts are now solved!